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We're Here to Help

209: Very Important Pickles & Twenty-Second Pilot

We're Here to Help

Headgum

Comedy

4.94.5K Ratings

🗓️ 22 September 2025

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jake and Gareth help a caller convince his girlfriend to skip a friend's wedding for a Twenty-One Pilots concert. Then, they get involved in a farmers market turf war.

Sara, 38, Philadelphia is looking for a friend! Think you could be a good match? Submit to the Friendship Game here: https://tinyurl.com/friendforsara

See images from the episode here: http://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-209

Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is a Headgum podcast.

0:05.0

Weir, yeah, too, out.

0:09.0

Weir, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, here,

0:11.0

Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, this, this, this, this, yeah, yeah, and this, yeah, and. Have we started?

0:25.6

Yeah.

0:26.6

Okay, let me tell you this.

0:28.6

I did a show in Fort Collins a week ago, and I was like, during the show, I'm just like, you know, obviously, like, I'll talk to the crowd and stuff. So sometimes that can be misinterpreted by people. But anyway, what does that mean? That sometimes means that people will overjoin. Like, it's like, they can, it's now just a living room conversation. Yes. Your version would be you're out. Someone comes up to you, starts talking like they know you talking to the person, you know, and you're kind of like, I don't fully, you know, let me handle this. So this girl very early goes, wowee. And I was like, okay. And I was like, whatever. I was like, not enough time for that. So I kept moving. There's another lull. I hear,ee and I kind of go, what is with you? I'm like, are you trying to sell merch, whatever? There's a wowie a merch thing? No, I just am like, is she, I'm like an audience member should not have a catchphrase. Oh, I get what you. Of course. Yeah, yeah, of course. She does it a third time, and I'm kind of just,

1:29.0

there's nothing to, like, play with. So you're just kind of like, whatever. I'm like, I don't know what's happening over there. That after the show, she goes, I'm the Wau-E girl. I go, hi, way to go, you know. And she goes, do you know what that's from? and I go, no.

1:41.8

And she goes, when you got the Brazilian,

1:44.7

I was like, what?

1:46.2

She goes, yeah, And I go, no. And she goes, when you got the Brazilian, I was like,

1:45.7

what? She goes, yeah, you kept saying, wow, we during it. It was like, context would be a little

1:53.3

helpful. I mean, that is shocking, man. Shocking. What a world we've created.

2:02.2

You experienced way more than me.

2:04.0

Yeah, I'm out there.

2:05.4

You're out there.

2:06.4

Parmesan is being signed quite regularly.

2:11.0

Because I'll tell you what's different in my galaxy is that it has not really, it doesn't translate to my world.

2:18.2

So I feel like this is a weird hobby that we do that's really fun.

2:24.9

And every once in a while, somebody will come up and go, I listen to the pod.

2:30.0

See, I think if we did a live show, I think you would be like, oh, okay.

2:35.2

There's a lot of people out there.

...

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