207. “I’m 40, burned out, and don’t know what’s next in my life”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2025

⏱️ 81 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Courtney (40) and Ray (41) have spent their entire adult lives in the structure of military life—but with retirement on the horizon, they’re about to face a future filled with choices for the first time. For Ray, that means walking away from the rank, routine, and pension he’s built for over 20 years and entering a civilian job market he knows little about. For Courtney, it means finishing grad school, becoming a therapist, and finally stepping into her own career after 12 years as a stay-at-home mom. With three kids, a cross-country move coming soon, and dreams of settling down for good, can they stop optimizing for retirement and start asking better questions on building their Rich Life? This episode is brought to you by: Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Stamps.com | Sign up at https://stamps.com/ramit for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial, plus free postage, and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners. Upwork | Visit https://Upwork.com to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Links mentioned in this episode • Get my no-numbers journal Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Order my new book: Money for Couples • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm 40 years old and like I'm tired of reinventing myself all the time and having to make new friends.
0:04.8	It's exhausting.
0:05.6	I don't know what I want to do when I grow up and that's a little scary.
0:08.6	We've always agreed that we will live off of his income and anything that I would bring in is extra.
0:13.7	He didn't like that I separated that money.
0:15.6	It felt like she was trying to hide something.
0:17.4	It's a little sneaky. It felt a little like she was trying to hold something back. Well, one thing we all have in common is we lie to the people that we love. There is love in lying.
0:26.5	I'm about to open Courtney and Ray's Conscious Spending Plan, which breaks down their net worth, their income, and where they spend their money.
0:33.7	You can download and create your own conscious spending plan for free at IWT.com slash CSP.
0:42.0	Application says, we're wondering if we've prepared enough and we can afford for my husband to leave the military.
0:47.2	They're 40 years old.
0:48.4	Assets are $90,000.
0:50.3	Investments are $590,000.
0:52.9	Savings are $34,000.
0:55.1	Debt is zero for a total net worth of $750,000.
0:59.9	All right, without even looking at their income yet,
1:01.8	nobody trips and falls into having $590,000 of investments.
1:05.7	That is careful, consistent investing over the long term.
1:09.0	So well done on that.
1:10.6	Let's look at their income.
1:11.5	They're making $17,000 per month. Fixed costs are at 57%. So let's talk about two things that I see in
1:19.1	this CSP. First of all, there's a question about cash flow. What are they doing on a monthly basis?
	...

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