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Tise and Seas eligibility and limitations apply. Price review based on the off-gen price cap after 12 months. See Britishgas.co.uk.org slash verify for more. Six weeks after the breakup, you're in your car crying and they're at brunch. Three months out, you're still not sleeping and they have a new person. And a year later, you're finally coming up for air and that's the week they text you out of nowhere saying they miss you. Or maybe you just never fucking heard from them again. And every single one of you has asked some version of the same question. Are they actually fine? Do they ever feel it? Were they always going to leave? Avoidant discard is hard as shit. And this is part two of four in this breakup series. Last week was anxious. Today is avoidant. And today is the episode that answers the question you have been asking yourself at 3 a.m. for months. What is actually happening inside this person? Are they okay? And did they ever love me? But baby, here's what I'm going to tell you. And I want you to hear it crystal fucking clear before we start. The research has an answer. It's not the answer you want. It's not the answer they'd give you. And it's not the answer most attachment content gives you because most content either makes avoidance out to be secretly suffering angels or cold sociopaths. And neither of those is true. The truth is more specific, more measurable and honestly, more interestingly neither of those. So let's fucking go. Hello, hello, hello. And welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show. My name is Subrana Zohar, and I am your host. I'm sorry, I can't keep it in. Can you guys see what's next week? Do you see the book? It's my book. Oh my God. So my book came out. Well, it's on pre-sale right now, but it's official.

You guys can see it!

I've been waiting for this day. I've been waiting. I've been waiting. And I'm so excited because you guys are my babes and I get to share it with you. Thank you guys. Thank you for believing me to the point that we're here right now together. And I'm so fucking grateful. and today we're going to have a really great episode because I think to me, baby, this is a biggie. I know you guys ask constantly, right? And I think to me, this episode is for two people. If you were broken up with an avoidant, right? Or if you broke up with them and they seemed fine while you fell apart, this is for you. If you're avoidant and you're listening because something in you is starting to wake up and you don't know what to do with it, this is also for you. So today we're going to do four things. I'm going to explain what deactivation actually is in the nervous system because the word get thrown around and most people don't know what the fucking means. I'm going to tell you about a study that put this under experimental conditions and the result is exactly what every anxious X has suspected, but could never prove. I'm going to explain why they come back, if they even, and why coming back is almost never what you think it means. And go back and listen to the episode from a couple of months ago of do they always come back. That'll help. And then I'm going to answer the question everyone asks, which is, can they change? And honestly, without the false hope and without the doom. And baby, as always, stay until the end because the tool of the week is one of the most important things I could give to anyone who has ever loved and avoided. It's not about changing them. It's about what you do with your own mind while you're trying to heal from loving one. And guys, please don't forget to rate and review the podcast. Leave a comment, even if it's something as simple as a heart. Share it with your friends. That's how we grow this community because the reality is there are people that are coming in and out every day. Some of you guys are finding the relationships that you deserve and saying, baby, I don't need this anymore. I'm moving on to greener pastures. And then some of you are going, hey, first day here or somewhere anywhere anywhere in between. And so do I curse a lot? I sure do. Do I speak fast? You bet you you could slow the

speed down. You want ad free? Subscribe or fast forward through four ads or support our sponsors that help keep the show free. And ultimately, please don't forget to pre-order. Why am I like this? You now, if you go to the website at SabrinaZara.com, you will see where you can submit your receipt and you get a course as a thank you. Only if you pre-sail. Once pre-sales are over, you do not get the

course, my babies. But that is my... you will see where you can submit your receipt and you get a course as a thank you, only if you

pre-sail. Once presales are over, you do not get the course, my babies. But that is my way of saying thank you because it's the only way I get the New York Times list. And really quick, before I move on from the intro, to the person that left me a comment saying that I spoke too much about my first book, right? The first motherfucking book I have ever written that I spoke about it three times for a total of, I think it was 64 seconds in an entire 40-minute episode. My message to you is, get fucked. This is something I am not going to shut the fuck up about because I've never been prouder of anything that I have ever done in my entire life besides what I wrote in that book. So the point where my father's probably going to fucking disown me when he reads that book, and that's okay. I did that for me, for you, for everybody. Because we all deserve to be seen. We all deserve to be heard and understood. And I am so fucking tired of on my own show having to apologize for taking up space and celebrating wins, sharing the reality of life. And I'm going to stop doing that today because we're in this together. And if that works for you, fuck yeah. Let's do this together. And if not, that's okay too. But you get to make a choice. And that's one that you get to make. But you don't need to leave a wake of destruction. It's not a fucking airport. You don't have to announce your departure. You can just make that choice for yourself. And I value and think that's really awesome. But no, I'm not going to stop talking about this because I've never been more proud of something I've done in my life. And I am so excited for you guys to get it. Please let me know if you pre-order. Let me know what you think when you get it. And thank you as always for being here. Thank you for letting me take up the space and be on my ADHD loops and start to repeat myself and do the same stuff, because I'm a human. And like I get to show up like that. So the fuck do you. And guys, if you want to work with me or join one of the courses, everything's at Sabrinazohar.com. You can pre-order the book. You could do anything that you want there or you could just be here. We've got a couple of free guides and a quiz, got all that stuff. So just doing my due diligence and soon enough I'll be announcing my tour. So stay tuned. And if you're in the city, if I don't fucking get a hug from you, I will take it as a personal offense. All right, friends, without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we? Hi, friends. Oh, I'm excited. I'm sorry, I'm still, like, not getting over the book.

I still haven't processed that it's sitting right the buck next to me. And I'm just over the moon.

I have personally been struggling with my own mental health and feeling like, am I enough?

...