You may not want these beta guys who caretakers and take the backseat,

but you may be comfortable with those guys.

What's up everybody? I'm here on my own today on the Love Life podcast. I'm going to be answering one of your questions that have been sent into podcast at Matthew Hussie.

Before I do, I wanted to make sure you know that there is a place on my website where you can go and answer a multiple choice questionnaire that asks you what your greatest love life challenges right now.

And then it will give you based on your answer the best solution from everything I've created for what you're going through right now.

Go to yourdatingsolution.com to take that multiple choice questionnaire now and I will see you over there. That link again is yourdatingsolution.com.

Alright, this question is from B. She says, Hello Matthew, I recently started listening to your podcast and can I just say you and the crew are relatable, refreshing and encouraging. So thank you.

I do have a question for you if you don't mind answering. I'm from the San Francisco Bay area and I'm what some have called an alpha woman.

I am independent, graduated from a great university, started a career and became a homeowner at a young age. I'm seeking a partner who is also driven, motivated, ambitious and kind.

I have noticed that I tend to attract gentleman who ask me out who are beta apologies. I do not mean to say this in a derogatory way.

But men who do tend to look for caretakers, take the back seat in a relationship and might even try to take advantage of my giving heart and financial ambition.

I'm not attracted to men like this. Any tips to attract a man who I'd consider an equal in kindness, drive and ambition. Think power couple.

Is it truly just a numbers game or is there something I'm missing? Also for the record, while I am independent, I'm also very feminine, kind and generally fun to be around.

Don't want any of the comments above to be misconstrued as stodgy. And that is from B. Well, thank you for the question B and the vulnerability in asking it.

This is the kind of question that makes me want to ask you five more questions to try to get a little more precise with my answer and understanding what might be going wrong.

Let's just start from the place of saying, dating is always to some extent a numbers game. And the answer to many things can be have some patience because over time, if you're proactive, life will put people in front of you who could be right for you.

So there is that element of it's a numbers game. You sound from what you've said and you said you graduated from a great university became a homeowner at a young age. I'm guessing you're in your twenties. I don't know that for sure.

But it sounds like that from the way you're saying it. There's time and it will be a numbers game in the sense that I think that at that age, you're still trying to figure out who your people are.

The circles that you want to be around the places you like hanging out your peer group is evolving is going to change a lot. So at that age, there is natural for you to feel a sense of I don't feel a lot of connection to the people I'm around and I'm by the way, I'm not even just saying that about romantic partners. It can also be true of friends in general.

You know, a lot of the friends that you end up being friends within your thirties or your forties can end up being quite different from the people that your friends within your twenties because your life evolves, but your peer group hasn't necessarily necessarily evolved with it yet.

And so you will end up meeting interesting people and I think that it's important to note that those interesting people that you meet, maybe people who are driven are ambitious are motivated. They're doing really interesting things with their life.

They're on their own mission. It sounds like what you want is someone who's on their own mission, someone who's got their own thing going on. It's not they're not relying on yours. There's a kind of self perpetuating passion that they have of their own that's driving them forward, which by the way, I wouldn't even say is synonymous with having money.

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