204. Sexual Intelligence: What we really want from sex and how to get it

You Are Not Broken

Kelly Casperson, MD

Medicine, Health & Fitness

5 • 743 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2023

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Joining me for the second time on the podcast is world renowned sex therapist, Dr. Marty Klein – Author and sex therapist to Silicon Valley. If you want our first episode together check out Episode 169 – where we discuss his book “His porn her pain” Today we are discussing his amazing book: “Sexual Intelligence: What we really want from sex and how to get it”. This book is 10 years old and still completely relevant. And he is still being interviewed about it! What is sexual intelligence and why did it need to be written about? “For a lot of people, sex is an opportunity to fail” – Dr. Marty Klein How do you navigate when one partner wants something and the other doesn’t – oral during a period, PIV sex, kink? What is your opinion about the “low desire” epidemic and the meds for low desire. “Most people leave sex for when they are too tired to do anything else” – Dr. Marty Klein “In a world that is filled with ice cream and Netflix….why would anyone want sex?” – Dr. Marty Klein You say in the book PIV has symbolic meaning for hetero people – can you talk about why this limits us? What to do when sex is boring? What to do with a partner who won’t communicate about sex? Stonewalling? 26:13 Why Dr. Klein doesn’t like the term erectile dysfunction. I’m not attracted to my partner any more – they gained weight or are getting older – any help? Tips for desire discrepancy. Communication and more touch. https://www.martyklein.com/ Dr. Klein’s book: His Porn, Her Pain https://amzn.to/3IYvIsF Dr. Klein’s book: Sexual Intelligence https://amzn.to/3WLfYi0 Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership And get on the wait list for the upcoming "adult sex education master class" --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to You Are Not Broken, the only podcast that combines science, medicine, and
0:07.6	psychology to re-educate your brain and help you live your best love life. And I'm your host,
0:12.3	board-certified female urologist, Dr. Kelly Casperson. Hey friends, welcome back. Today I have a good,
0:19.0	good guest on our podcast who is back for the second time, Dr. Marty Klein, author and sex therapist, to Silicon Valley. And if you want to check out our previous work, episode 169, we talked about his book, His Porn, Her Pain, which was incredible and awesome. And today we're going to discuss sexual intelligence, what we really want from sex and how to get it.
0:38.1	Thanks for coming on again.
0:39.7	Pleasure to be here again.
0:41.8	This book is not even new, but it's still completely relevant.
0:45.6	And it gives me hope that somebody's going to be still interviewing me 10 years from my book.
0:51.3	Well, you're right.
0:53.2	The porn book is more recent. This book actually is 10 years old. I can hardly believe it. People are still buying it. People are still sending me emails saying, wow, what a great book. So the publishers actually asked me to do a follow-up, and I read the book, and I thought, this is really complete the way it is.
1:12.0	Yeah, it's really good.
1:13.4	It's completely still relevant.
1:15.6	I'm sure you could make up something to add.
1:18.3	I mean, read it now is 10 years ago.
1:19.3	It's still incredibly helpful.
1:22.6	What is sexual intelligence and why did it need to be written about?
1:26.0	It needed to be written because nobody had written that book before.
1:32.9	There's all this self-help floating around. But as you know, having just read the book apparently, as you know, Kelly,
1:40.1	I wrote this book because so many people that I see in the office and that I hear about, you know,
1:45.3	when I lecture and stuff, so many people want sex to be more enjoyable, more relaxed,
1:50.9	more playful. And the self-help that they're getting out there just doesn't address why that's so difficult. Why is it so complicated? And as you know, this book is very practical. It talks
1:57.0	about people being self-conscious about their weight. It talks about people being self-conscious about what if I fart during sex.
	...

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