This is the mop-up. I'm David Feldman in New York City. Happy New York. I can't believe it's 2026.

I'm still writing Dick Cheney is a war criminal on my checks. I should be writing Pete Hegseth as a war criminal on my checks.

Instead of putting the date down, I just write who the latest war criminal is. Good riddance to 2025, glad you're dead. Now go F yourself,

2025. That entire year can go just go F yourself. And I you rotten hell 2025 and to be honest with you

twenty twenty six you're not doing me any favors either so you can go eff yourself to twenty

six in fact this entire anthropocene epic can go eff itself and so long as i'm cleaning house today the cretaceous epic you can go F itself. And so long as I'm cleaning house today, the Cretaceous Epic, you can go

F yourself too. I need not remind my listeners the Cretaceous Epic gave us the cockroach. And as a New Yorker,

I know I speak for everyone when I say the world would have been a lot better off had we skipped the

Cretaceous epic and gone straight to the Paleocene epic.

My resolution for 2026 is to lose as many listeners as I possibly can.

That's my goal to just simplify my life and do this show like

Rupert Pupkin in my mother's basement with cardboard cutouts of an audience. The Guardian reporting

that Trump welcomed in the New year at Maralaga hosting a

party where Stephen Miller and Christy Gnome were caught on video dancing to a live performance.

I'm not making this up.

They were dancing to a live performance of Ice Ice Baby performed by Vanilla Ice.

And I'm going to show you Stephen Miller and Christy Noam dancing to Ice Ice Baby.

This is actual video you're going to see moments before Christy Noem accidentally broke into the macarena and immediately paid herself $3,000 to self-deport.

All right, can you see this?

This is actual footage from Donald Trump's New Year's Eve extravaganza where that is

vanilla ice.

And we're told he's dancing with a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

...