202: The “Maybe Don’t Do That” Episode

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

Society & Culture, Comedy, History

4.9 • 612 Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when criminals make every possible wrong decision… and then double down? In this episode of The Shallow End, we dive headfirst into a series of real-life stories that prove you don’t need a mastermind to commit a crime—sometimes all you need is spectacularly bad judgment. First, meet Darren Kimpton—a burglar having what can only be described as an aggressively terrible day. After botching one break-in and leaving behind a literal trail of blood (yes, DNA included), he decides the logical next step is… to try again. What follows is less of a crime and more of a live-action surrender. Then, things shift from clumsy crime to courtroom chaos. A woman named Kimberly Carroll attempts to attend a virtual court hearing via Zoom—while driving. What unfolds is a painfully awkward, wildly viral moment involving a skeptical judge, a very obvious lie, and one of the most expensive car rides imaginable. Plus, listener stories that will make you question how anyone boards the wrong plane—and doesn’t realize it until takeoff. This episode is packed with: Dumb criminal fails (the kind that practically solve themselves) Viral courtroom moments you have to hear to believe Absurd real-life stories that feel scripted… but aren’t The kind of humor that makes you grateful you’re not that person If you love true crime with a comedic twist, unbelievable real-life mishaps, and stories where everything goes wrong in the most entertaining way possible—welcome to The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What do you get when you take two childhood friends with the passion for unexplored history and a whole lot of booze?
0:05.6	You get us, Queens podcast.
0:07.5	And here at Queens, we are spilling the tea on all kinds of women from history.
0:11.6	From New Orleans voodoo queen, Marie Levo to Marie Antoinette, and everything in between.
0:17.6	Each queen is paired with a cocktail recipe that will totally get you in the mood to hear the
0:21.7	fun, dramatic, and juicy stories of fascinating women from history. Listen wherever you get your
0:27.0	podcasts. Cheers. Every Sunday, we recap the week's tech news with the smartest people in the
0:34.3	business. Joining me this Sunday, Kathy Gellis attorney at law
0:37.5	Harper Reed AI guru and Brian McCullough from the Tech Brew Ride home we'll talk
0:43.0	about the big meta social media decision is it the end of the line for social
0:48.6	media we'll talk about AI and why you should give your AI agents some free time
0:54.0	and a whole lot more.
0:55.9	Look forward at twit.tv or wherever you get your podcasts.
1:00.3	It began long ago.
1:02.7	Two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and Little League practice.
1:08.6	Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for
1:13.3	stories where things would go horribly wrong. Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up.
1:21.4	You're in the shallow end with Schnebly and Toff. Can't believe it, Jeff wrote episode 202,
1:27.2	and more important, the University of Arizona
1:30.4	men's basketball team is headed to the final four for the first time in our alma alma
1:36.2	motto. Yeah. That was an exciting game. It really, and for people who haven't been following
1:41.4	the NCAA tournament or aren't basketball fans. Arizona
	...

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