Porn Free Radio Episode 201. So I thought I had told every story about my recovery journey on

Porn Free Radio. We've done 200 episodes so you'd think I would have told everything. But I was

working on my new book and I was reminded of a small story that I don't think I've shared here.

And here's the setup for it. I had had a relapse.

This was after a few years in recovery.

So it wasn't right at the beginning.

This was after I had gotten some significant recovery,

where I had started leading a group.

So this relapse was one of those relapses that you feel extra foolish for because you know better.

And you've even, you know, done a lot of hard work in recovery.

And I remember waking up that morning and it was one of those memories like, did that happen last night?

Did I look at stuff?

And it was like, oh my gosh, I realized it's true.

I did look at stuff. And I was so rushed to get to work that day. I couldn't connect with my

wife. I didn't reach out to any friends. I mean, it was, what, 7.30 in the morning? And so I just did what we normally do.

I kind of tried to suppress these feelings of shame and, you know, the sort of hangover

of being up late.

And I jumped in my car and I rushed to work.

Now, my work at the time was right next to a Starbucks.

And you guys know me. I love coffee. So I hit that

Starbucks twice a day. I'd usually hit it in the beginning of the morning. And then I'd go back

and they'd give me free refills. They would, you know, the baristas all knew me. And I brought my own

...