You talk to your advisor about the situation and make arrangements to defer your masters

for another year.

You watch your classmates get internships and amazing job offers.

You try to tell yourself that you'll be there too someday.

You're not exactly sure how long your dad will be with you.

It's not that you hope he's gone in a year, but in the darkest moments of the night,

you admit that maybe you do, just a little.

Then you feel terrible about daydreaming about his death.

He's still your dad, even if he feels like a stranger most days.

And so the cycle continues.

It doesn't help that everything keeps getting harder.

You're around more now so you can see each step in his slow descent.

When you're feeling kind, you try to remember that this must be terrifying for him.

You try to feel kind as much as possible, but sometimes it's hard.

Amani makes it clear that she has no sympathy for you at all.

You talk less now than you did before, which is saying something.

Everybody else, either nods and tries to change the subject.

However wax is poetic about how few kids these days uphold their duties to their parents.

Neither reaction makes you feel better.

One night you wake to a sharp yelp and the smell of fire.

You had dosed off after refusing to make him a grilled cheese sandwich at two o'clock

in the morning, and he tried to make one himself.

...