20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

Writing Excuses

Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler

Business, Careers, Fiction

4.6 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 November 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We have an exciting announcement! Writing Excuses is publishing a book, Now Go Write, which will feature writing from all of our hosts! Sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! So, for our next few episodes, we’ll have each host share one of the topics that they have written a chapter about for the book. Today, we’re starting with Mary Robinette, who will be covering the question of how to handle relationships. We explore how relationships can act like characters themselves—shifting, growing, or breaking under story pressure. Mary Robinette also introduces the “Kowal Relationship Axes” as a way to build believable dynamics and conflict between characters. We hope you come away with practical tools to write relationships that feel real, messy, and full of momentum. Homework: First, sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! Then: who does your character love because of their flaws and why? Write an exploration scene where the character is exhibiting those flaws and the other character is watching that fondly. Then, write a different scene where one character is mad at the other and the flaws are pissing them off. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Call for Writing Breakthroughs Have you had a breakthrough in your writing because of Writing Excuses? If so, we want to hear about it. Fill out this Writing Breakthroughs Google Form for a chance to be featured in a WX Newsletter! Last Annual Cruise The final WXR cruise sets sail for Alaska in September 2026—don’t miss your chance to be part of it. Learn more and sign up here. Credits: Your hosts for this episode were Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, and Erin Roberts. It was produced by Emma Reynolds, recorded by Marshall Carr, Jr., and mastered by Alex Jackson. Join Our Writing Community! Writing Retreats Newsletter Patreon Instagram Threads Bluesky TikTok YouTube Facebook Our Sponsors: * Check out HomeServe and use my code homeserve.com/excuses for a great deal: https://www.homeserve.com * Check out Talkiatry and use my code Talkiatry.com/WX for a great deal: https://www.talkiatry.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/writing-excuses2130/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey everybody, this is Erin, and I've got a question for you.
0:05.8	What have you learned from writing excuses that you use in your own writing?
0:11.6	Now, we talk a lot about tools not rules, which means there are things that we're going to say that you're going to be like, yes, that is for me.
0:19.9	That's the tool I'm going to use in my next project. And there are others that you're going to be like, yes, that is for me. That's the tool I'm going to use in my next
0:21.7	project. And there are others that you're going to be like, I'm going to leave that to the side.
0:27.0	And what we want to know is which of the things that we're saying have really worked for you?
0:33.6	What's the acronym you're always repeating? What's the plot structure you keep coming back to?
0:39.3	What's a piece of advice that has carried you forward when you've been stuck in your work,
0:44.3	or that you've been able to pass on to another writer who's needed advice or help?
0:49.3	However you've used something that you've learned from us, we want to know about it and we want to share
0:55.3	it with the broader community. Every month, we're going to put one of your tips or tricks or
1:02.2	tools in the newsletter so that the rest of the community can hear, how have you actually
1:08.4	taken something that we've talked about and made it work for you?
1:12.7	And I'm personally just really excited to learn about these because a lot of times y'all take the things that we say
1:20.1	and use them in such ingenious and interesting ways to do such amazing writing that I'm just like chomping at the bit to get in these tools
1:29.7	and tips and share them with everybody else. So if you're interested, please go to our show
1:36.6	notes and fill out the form there and be part of this project and just share with us what
1:42.3	you're doing, what you've learned, and how you're using it so that we can
1:46.1	share with everybody else. Really excited again to get all this in because honestly, what we say
1:53.9	is made real and important and meaningful by what y'all do with it. With that, you are out of excuses.
2:02.8	Now go tell us what works for you.
2:06.0	Many supplements on the market are hard to absorb or packed with fillers.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.