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So you're going out every day. You're getting a gunfight outside of your fob.

Then you come home and then you get a deal with the base getting hit.

How many engagements would you say you were a part of in that eight months? Do you have any idea?

I lost count. Who's that many? Just to put that in perspective for it because most

guys don't think about this. That's 180 fucking engagements.

They're very first up. The helo crashed. Oh shit.

Kill everybody. One guy survived. I want to take a call. I have your dad on the line, Jim.

Hey, Jim. How's it going? This is John Ryan.

I just in the back of my mind hope that you understood or at least somewhat understood

what I was actually going to do. Yeah, there was definitely emotional death in the end.

But I still have that call clearly. I didn't want to run on to him.

I don't know how emotional it was. Fucking every night right when the sun down, these dudes are just

smashes with small arms and they would be effective. A lot of times when you lose guys in a combat zone

and you know them, it'll create a type of ritual. Did I do anything? I'm going to take another call.

We got a mutual friend on the line who was there with that whole second employment with you.

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