I was

fascinated by my family story and I had flown back from New York and I had flown back

from New York and had been recording my mother's voice and she'd been telling me our family history.

It was after midnight and she told me to turn off the tape recorder and she said what I'm about to tell you cannot go on the tape.

Julie was 28 at the time and she was sitting with her mom in her parents house in Monterey Park, California.

And I already knew what she was going to say.

I had a feeling because all my life I had grown up feeling like I wasn't wanted.

And what her mom told her that night changed everything. I knew about the secret before I met Julie. I read her blog. I'm talking to Mark,

Julie's friend and book editor. It was the first thing she told me when we met the very first thing because it was

still top of mind for her. It was top of mind for her from the moment she found out

to the moment she died.

It was the establishing fact. It was year zero.

This is episode two, the secret.

I'm Eleanor Kagan. It all starts with Julie's grandmother. She was born in Hainan, an island off the southern coast of China.

When she was a teenager, she was brought to Vietnam as part of an arranged marriage.

And she hated her mother-in-law, who was also, you know, was controlled her life.

And, you know, when she was younger and, you know, she had to take care of her mother-in-law's other children, you know, so her husband's siblings, so she would,

she even breastfed one of them.

I mean, my grandmother hated her mother-in-law, my great-grandmother.

Eventually, Grandma has five sons of her own,

and Peter, the oldest, is Julie's father.

He meets Anne, Julie's mom, and they have two kids, Lena and Mao.

...