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Enjoy the show. And the A couple of months ago I was at home at a time I'm usually not. At the time I had classes every single day at 2 p.m. except for Friday.

The day this happened. Now I was lucky, incredibly lucky. I was getting in the kitchen maybe an hour after

getting home because I had been lazy, too lazy to go make my lunch straight away after getting home.

My kitchen counter is in a U-shape, one side in the bottom being on two of the walls and the other being in the middle of the kitchen.

The windows being where the accent is. So I was in the

inside of the U and I hear my window being opened. Now I had my blinds opened maybe 20 centimeters, and one window was opened maybe 10 centimeters.

They won't open any more than that because we have sticks to prevent it.

And the other side was supposedly locked closed. The window that was open was the one that I had locked. I screamed loud and yelled get out, as I see a man laying on the floor

with his head, arms, and torso inside my house

and his legs outside. He starts leaving, looks straight at me and asks, can I have some figs? In my garden I have a fig tree and this was right around the time when they were good to eat.

Me, panicking, continued yelling, no, no, no, the man stops exiting and looks at me almost defended and asks,

no, to get him out, my panicked mind just said, yes, take them, but don't take too many because

there are very few on the tree.

My panicked brain worked in a weird way. He exited. I closed all of my

blinds and called the police. As far as I know they didn't find him, but they did make sure he was nowhere near my house.

The thing is, I'm a 17 year old girl.

My only advantage in this situation was that I saw him whilst he was getting in. If I'd been anywhere else in the house, he would have gotten inside.

So crazy fig-obsessed man, let's not meet. I lived in Japan for around 10 months a couple of years back as part of a study

abroad program as my placement year for university. I lived in Hiroshima and pretty much every Japanese person I met

was exactly how you would expect them, generous and respectful. I'll accept this one old lady who just so happened to live in the apartment next to mine.

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