God demands that we both love and hate. We’re actually not supposed to be all love all the time. There are things to love and things to hate. The problem becomes when we confuse the two. And honestly, it’s really easy to get them confused. It’s easy to start hating what we’re supposed to love and start loving what we’re supposed to hate.
Romans 12:9, “Don’t PRETEND to love others. REALLY LOVE them. HATE what is WRONG. Hold TIGHTLY to what is RIGHT.”
Jesus says there’s one way we will be known as his disciples, OUR LOVE. When we follow Jesus, we begin to love like him. Who did Jesus love? Everyone. So who are we supposed to love? Everyone.
That’s hard, isn’t it? Is there someone in your neighborhood, your office, or your family, that’s really hard to love? Everything about them absolutely rubs you the wrong way. Yeah, God doesn’t want you to keep pretending like you love them, as you so easily do with your shallow hellos and fake caring. God says you are to REALLY LOVE THEM.
That difficult person is someone Jesus died for. They’re someone God designed with great intention and put them on Earth for a purpose. They’re someone who has gone through real things, struggling with real feelings, and desperately need real love. And YOU ARE CALLED TO LOVE THEM.
But why? Because your love reflects Jesus. Not your judgment. Not your correction. Not your avoidance. Not your gossip. Just your love.
Does it mean you could get hurt? Yip. Does it mean you could get rejected? Yes. Does it mean your efforts could be a waste? Yes. Just like Jesus’ love got him hurt, made him hang there in rejection, and with all he gave it was a waste to some – but he did it anyway. And now he calls his girls to do the same. LOVE THEM. Get over how you feel about it and lead with love. Stop building your walls out of self-protection and be vulnerable with your love.
The truth is, we give love with strings of expectation. We expect our love to be received, appreciated and reciprocated. And when it’s not, we stop really loving and we start to ‘pretend’ love. We keep the peace, but we replay the battle. We smile to their face, but we talk behind their back. We text all the sweet emojis, but those emojis are the opposite of our true emotions. Fake. Fake. Fake. In fact, scripture tells us we could do all sorts of great and impressive acts, but if we don’t have love behind it, it’s absolutely worthless.
God is not impressed by your fake love.
Lord, help me to REALLY LOVE. Forgive me for hiding behind fake.
Could God help you love that person that you find so hard to love? Absolutely. And here’s how – he could help you see that person through his eyes. God loves them because he knows the potential he placed within them. God loves them because he knit them together with purpose and he knows that purpose is still possible. There’s goodness within that person because God’s fingerprints are all over them. He formed them. If you love the Creator, you can love his creation.
But that doesn’t mean you have to love the wrong they do. In fact, Romans 12:9 says, “HATE WHAT IS WRONG.” But here’s what it doesn’t say – It doesn’t say ‘hate the person who is wrong.’ Nowhere are we told to hate the person. We are to LOVE the person because they are God’s creation and Jesus died for them. We want God’s best for them. We want them to heal. We want them to be restored. We want them to live well.
We love the person, while we hate what is wrong. Separate the two.
I can hate the addiction while I still love the person. God does.
I can hate the ugly actions and hurtful words while I still love the person. God does.
I can hate the division and confusion while I still love the person.