198: What if you rescued everyone to save yourself?
This Is Actually Happening
Wondery
4.6 • 9.9K Ratings
🗓️ 10 August 2021
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.”
Producers: Whit Missildine
Episode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herself
Today's episode featured Rachel. You can find out more about her on Facebook at fb.com/RachelHillestad.
Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening
Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com
Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus
Episode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; ThredUp: thredup.com/happening
Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening
Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/
Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.
Content/Trigger Warnings: homicidal thoughts, harm OCD, death, sexual assault, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, explicit language
Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper
Music Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is actually happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. |
| 0:04.2 | Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode |
| 0:07.6 | and for more information about support services. |
| 0:18.6 | When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn't going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain. |
| 0:24.1 | It was just going to be over. |
| 0:26.0 | Even if there was nothing after death, even if it was just a black hole of nothingness, it was going to be over. |
| 0:42.4 | From Wondry, I'm Whit Missaldine. |
| 0:45.7 | You are listening to this is actually happening. |
| 0:48.3 | Episode 198. |
| 0:55.3 | What if you rescued everyone to save yourself? |
| 1:08.3 | Hey, Prime members. |
| 1:10.3 | You can listen to this is actually happening. |
| 1:12.3 | Add free on Amazon Music. |
| 1:14.3 | Download the app today. |
| 1:16.3 | Hi there Wondry listeners. |
| 1:18.3 | Hannah and Sruti here from TrueCram Podcast Red handed. |
| 1:20.3 | Your favourite podcast red handed. |
| 1:22.3 | We just wanted to say how excited we are to be included in Amazon Music and Wondry's best podcasts of the year as chosen by their listeners. |
| 1:30.3 | Which is you. |
| 1:31.3 | So thank you so much to everyone who listened to us voted for us or the things you do for us. |
| 1:35.3 | Any of you out there who haven't checked out Red handed, what are you doing? |
| 1:39.3 | What are you waiting for? |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Wondery, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Wondery and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.