#198: This is How Relationships End with Matthew Fray

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 21 March 2022

⏱️ 83 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Marriage, Relationships, Commitment, Divorce, Trust, Intimacy Summary: One night during his divorce, Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the 18 year old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was a jerk and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, his post – “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By the Sink” — was read over four million times. Now, his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, is set to release this month. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counselling couples, the book exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behaviour patterns in their own lives. I am so excited to have Matt on today to dive into it all! Discover: Why most relationships or marriages come to an end (even if we’re still in love) The subtle ways we erode trust in our relationships Two foundational habits you can focus on to build more trust and intimacy within your relationship What it means to validate your partner Links: This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray Matt's Blog - Must Be This Tall to Ride Sponsors: Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove House of Wise Co. | Use code CREATETHELOVEBOGO to get one free box of gummies when you buy one box at houseofwise.co Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.
0:12.5	You know, years ago when I came upon the words of the guest today, I was immediately
0:18.9	touched by his words.
0:21.4	I feel like all of the teachers that I've really related to and loved and
0:27.3	voraciously sort of consumed are people who can translate into words the human experience.
0:35.8	Like my experience, making it make sense for me in some way.
0:40.5	And, you know, because so much of what we go through is somatic, it's our body being like,
0:46.0	it's feeling a thing. And then when someone's able to put words to that thing and also give
0:52.5	us permission, that was a big thing for me, you know, was feeling through
0:58.3	someone else's experience and story of triumph over pain, challenges that we often think
1:04.6	are the end when they're really just the beginning, the beginning of unlayering, the beginning of feeling more witnessed.
1:14.0	And, you know, I remember years ago someone asking me, like, should I stay or should I go?
1:20.4	And I think that's one of those very personal and sort of big questions that the soul asks.
1:28.3	And I think often we have the answer to already.
1:31.6	You know, we're sort of seeking for it not to be what we know to be true or we're seeking
1:35.8	to validate something, whatever it might be.
1:37.9	It's, it's your experience.
1:39.2	It's mine.
1:39.7	It's individual.
1:41.3	And I remember saying to the person, like, whether you stay or go, like, I don't
1:46.9	care what you choose. Like, I don't care what someone chooses because, and regardless of anything
1:53.1	in their relationship, because what you choose is up to you. And I think what is so important in our human experience is that we know we are loved
	...

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