The key to you having a good day or a bad day isn’t in the weather, it’s not in your circumstance, it’s not in the actions or mood of others. The one key to your day is all in your head. Your THOUGHTS write the definition of this day.
Your thoughts are either lifting you up, or dragging you down a dark alley to be beat. Your thoughts are either highlighting all that is good and right, or they’re underlining all that’s bad and wrong.
Have you ever tried to reason with a 13 year old boy or a 17 year old girl? After having raised a few kids, I’ve discovered those are the key ages for each. It’s at the point of 13 in a boy’s life, and 17 in a girl’s life, that you thoroughly understand why some animals eat their young. I’ve always loved my children, but this stage really pushed the limits of me liking them. Their thoughts get all infected with hormones and they go temporarily crazy. Everything becomes an argument. Everything is made harder than it has to be. Everything is a battle.
They’re not thinking rationally. Every thought they think is solely focused on them being right and everyone else being wrong. Their thoughts are anchored to all things being unfairly against them, so the simplest of things erupt in a full blown war. Now, here’s the good news parents of 13 year old boys and 17 year old girls, as quickly as they changed into this difficult, irritable being, they will change back to a somewhat tolerable individual in your house at some point. I can’t promise when, but eventually their thoughts change and they calm down.
If you’ve lived through this stage with your children, you know. You know everything can be right, but they can make it so totally wrong.
Well girlfriend, we are no different. Everything can be reasonably right in your life and you can be responsible for making it totally wrong. If your thoughts are focused on how unfair things are for you, how unappreciated you are, and how hard things are for you, every day starts lining up to meet your expectations. You’re seeking … and surprise …. you’re finding!
Just like the 13 year old boy looking for an argument always finds one, your search for things being unfair will always bring you to evidence your thoughts were correct. It’s all unfair for you. But then what? What is your reward? Now this day is foundationally unfair. Everyone has it better than you. Your life is unfairly hard, so you drag your butt through the torture of another day where you get a whole lot less than you feel you deserve.
But guess what … your thoughts ordered that for you. How about you don’t order than anymore?
The 17 year old girl looking for a battle always finds one. It’s as if she hand selects the clothes to start the battle. She plants the evidence for you to find just so the battle rages. Things can’t just stay calm … no, there’s always a battle because she’s looking for one. And you always find something to be stressed about when you look for it.
Look at your schedule, the long list of all you have to get done. That’s stressful. Look at how far you still have to go. That’s stressful. Think about what could happen next, all that could go wrong, the disaster that could be waiting just around the corner. That’s stressful. Your thoughts have stressed you out and not a darn thing has even happened.
But, what you look for you will find. And if you think about it, your body responds as if it’s happening. You can think yourself into a full blown anxiety attack. You can also think yourself into a state of absolute bliss and peace. You choose.
I’ve seen peace in a hospital room when a loved one is dying. I’ve seen bliss in the middle of the biggest mess that doesn’t seem like it will ever be fixed.