What I needed was to put the final sentence and the period on this four-year story of suffering and pain and fear and not trusting myself, my mind, or my body.

She turned to leave. And I said, well, I actually had a few questions for you. And while I asked my

questions, she stood with her hand on the doorknob. So I decided then, again, I'm just at, just at the

end or just out of my first trimester. I said, that's it. I'm taking a radical level of responsibility for my

care and my birth and myself, as I have over the last year and a half for my mental health.

And we're turning this train around.

I'm Cynthia Overgard, owner of Hypnoberthing of of Connecticut, childbirth advocate, and postpartum support specialist.

And I'm Trescia Ludwig, certified nurse midwife and international board certified lactation consultant.

And this is the down-to-birth podcast.

Childbirth is something we're made to do, but how do we have our safest and

most satisfying experience in today's medical culture? Let's dispel the myths and get down to birth.

My name is Emma. I'm from Cincinnati. I have two daughters. My oldest daughter is four years old,

and my younger daughter is four months old. My story begins pretty much with the birth of my first daughter. I had a pretty typical experience,

ran to the hospital as soon as I thought I was in labor and had a cascade of interventions that

followed. So I was able to have a vaginal birth with her, but I was in labor for 30-plus

hours and on Potocin for more than half of that. And it really just was not what I had envisioned

my birth looking like. But I think that birth really kick started something that was

probably already going to happen, which was my postpartum depression. And that I really started

showing signs of probably before I even left the hospital. Now looking back, I can say that.

Things felt very dark just from the beginning and I felt very alone and very hopeless and very

anxious as well. I had all these kinds of irrational thoughts that like my baby didn't like me

or we had a lot of a lot of trouble

...