My friends are sending me those priceless back to school photos. Just this week I saw Ava’s first day of pre-school and Grayson’s move-in day at college. And while it seems a lifetime will separate those two photos, us older moms know just how fast it all goes. We only have these kids home with us for a short time, then they’re gone.
The year will come when there are no back to school shoes to buy. No school supplies to stress over. No first day send offs. And please, listen to me … THAT’S THE GOAL. The goal is to raise those babies and watch them fly right out of the nest. The goal isn’t to keep them home forever. Mama, you’ve got to let them go. This is success.
All too often I hear from mom’s who are struggling to let their grown man child be a man. They’re holding on to this fully capable young woman as if she’s still a little girl who needs her pigtails tightened. You’re only holding them back! They aren’t mean to live with you forever, that’s why battles ensue when they become teenagers. This is them separating from your home. This is natural.
Gosh, I really wish someone would have told me that when I had teenagers. THIS IS NATURAL. They’re separating from your home. They’re like the little bird that’s decided the nest is limiting their life and they’re mad they’re still stuck in it. And the more mama bird tries to make them stay in the nest, the more disgruntled they grow.
Proverbs 22:6 MSG, “Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost.” But guess what, there will likely be some stupid wandering years before they’re old.
You have a job here. Your job is to point them in the right direction. You can’t force them, and you can’t do it for them. And you can’t hold on so tightly to them that they can’t take a step without you.
Mama, if you’re in the “wandering years” with your child, please know this:
1. You’re not alone.
2. This is somewhat normal.
3. This won’t last forever.
And I believe there are two things you absolutely must do.
1. Let life be their teacher.
2. Pray circles around them.
I’ve raised three kids, somewhat successfully. I was not perfect, and neither were they. Their wandering years lasted longer than I had wished and sometimes have gone a lot further off track than I ever imagined. BUT GOD!
Let me tell you, our God is faithful and he loves our kids even more than us. God is big enough to point and not force. Guide and not steer. And he is so patient through those wandering years because he already knows they will come back. And God lets life touch them. God doesn’t run in and rescue every time and make all the consequences go away. But he never leaves. He never turns away. He is always there.
AND THIS IS OUR GUIDE TO PARENTING. Look how God does it and repeat that display of love.
Let life touch and teach them. Don’t make consequences go away. Don’t shield them from life. Don’t fix it for them, just as God doesn’t fix it all for us. Our job is to simply be present. Be faithful. Listen. Offer strength. Offer guidance. Remain steady. Never stop loving them.
And if you really want to help your child, you pray!
James 5:16, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” That’s a formula. Righteous person with earnest prayers for wonderful results. Before you disqualify yourself thinking you have to go out and find some righteous person to pray for your child because you alone could never be a righteous person, remember it is your belief and trust in Jesus that makes you righteous, not your works. As a believer, you are that righteous person, and your prayers have great power to produce wond...