Welcome to the empowered wife podcast where it's all about fixing your marriage without your husband's conscious effort so that you feel desired, taken care of, and special, even if your relationship feels completely hopeless.

I'm Laura Doyle, and today I'm talking about what to do when you realize,

hey, my husband and I have nothing to talk about.

My guest, D's relationship lacked connection. She felt like she and her

husband barely knew each other. Having conversations was like pulling teeth and there was barely

any intimacy between them.

When she started some new practices though, in just a few weeks things were different at her house.

Her husband pulled her close at night and the resentment released. She's going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

But first let's get to what to do when you find yourself thinking, hey, my husband and I have nothing to talk about.

Because nothing feels lonelier than being married and just eating together in silence,

or else living under the same roof but never having the deep conversations you're craving.

It feels terrible when the emotional intimacy goes missing like that. So let's talk about how to get that back, get back to

sharing your dreams, your desires, and the details of your day. How do you do that?

Number one, restore emotional safety. One thing that shuts down conversations fast is when it's not safe to say anything for either one of you. Maybe you're afraid he's going to blame you or shut you out, or he's afraid you're

going to micromanage him or criticize him. Neither of you feels free to be yourself, so you stay distant.

It feels awful, especially if we used to talk about everything and confide in each other.

So how do you restore emotional safety, especially if you're the one who doesn't feel safe? well you're going to need a superpower, which is okay

because you can develop this superpower. It's pretty counterintuitive, I know, but the best way I've found to restore emotional safety is to scan my side of the street for ways that I contributed to the problem.

Even if I was only 10% of the problem and he was 90% of the problem, even if I was only 1% of the problem, and he was 99%.

Whatever, I like having deep conversations and silly conversations and sharing details about our day and our hopes and our dreams.

So if that goes missing, I like being able to fix it.

Once I figure out what I did, I use my superpower, being able to

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