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I'm eating a small pile of grapes that have actually, I think I've left them so long,

they're almost fermenting by themselves, they really properly taste of wine.

Are they a fine wine?

I actually know nothing about wine, are you a wine expert?

No, not at all.

Do you know what, I just go on the price and the label.

If the label's pretty, or a bit different,

especially if it's got colours on it, Jane, I'll fall for it.

You'll go for it, will you?

Actually, I'm not terribly good at drinking very much full stop.

I'm a one-glass wonder, what about you?

Half a glass wonder, and then I top up with soda and think,

I'm so sophisticated.

So the glass just gets weaker and weaker and weaker.

Yes, I can eat longer.

I'll eat longer, it's over 20 minutes, sometimes.

Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, 16.

And you feel like you're having something approaching a good time

without any danger of a terrible head the next morning.

And don't you find that the older you get, the more the remorseful head kicks in?

The what did I say, how did I say it?

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