You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity

and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we are talking about a very, very common relationship dynamic,

particularly for those with anxious

attachment patterns, although not exclusively those with anxious attachment patterns.

And that is the role of the caretaker. And more specifically, looking at how caretaking

can create imbalance in our relationships and ultimately set us up for patterns and dynamics

and relational environments that actually don't serve anyone involved. And yet, it's a really,

really easy one to fall into, particularly if you are someone who struggles with anxiety,

if you tend to over function, if you tend to take responsibility for things that maybe

are not within your control or are not actually your responsibility to be taking on,

it's a really easy role to fall into and it's certainly one that is an easy place for me to go,

even now. It's part of my ongoing work to pull back on my instinct to over function and to

try and buffer all of the stress in the relationship, in our environment. That's a big part of

my work as well. So if what I'm about to share today resonates with you, know that you are not

alone. It doesn't mean you're broken. It's just one of the many strategies that we've picked up along the way that no doubt makes sense in the context of our history, our past. And there is, as always, wisdom in these strategies. They've served a purpose for us. But we do also have to look at, okay, what's it costing me

to be in these kinds of dynamics? What's the impact that it's having on my relationship and myself,

my own well-being? How does it impact the other person? Because I think there can certainly be

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