#183: The Best Book on Communication

Mary’s Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women

Mary Jelkovsky

Self-love, Body-image, Mental Health, Body Image, Relationships, Women's Health, Self Love, Advice For Women, Self Love For Women, Love Yourself, Education, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.8 • 721 Ratings

🗓️ 23 November 2023

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I thought I was a good communicator until I read this book. It has challenged me (in a good way) and I wanted to share some of my takeaways with you. You will learn... - the book Mary’s been reading, bringing to therapy, and trying to learn from - how most people communicate and why it causes conflict - the 4 levels of communication Remember: there’s a difference between communicating clearly and communicating compassionately. I always thought the goal was the former, but now I’m realizing that it’s the latter. Hope you enjoy my unofficial book club, where we talk about books that have helped me heal, grow, and evolve. If you liked this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary’s books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: [maryscupoftea.com/journal](http://maryscupoftea.com/journal). This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Get the book Nonviolent Communication: https://amzn.to/3GaGriU

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Mary's Cup of Tea, the self-love podcast for women. I'm your host, Mary Jolkovsky,
0:08.8	an author, speaker, and all-around self-love advocate. And this is the podcast that will inspire you
0:15.5	to love yourself. A book that has been challenging me lately is called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg.
0:25.7	I have my copy right here in front of me and I wanted to do this unofficial book review because it just
0:32.7	opened up a lot for me in terms of communication skills, how I generally approach things, thinking that I'm a good
0:39.9	communicator, but perhaps sometimes being violent in the way I express myself. Now, quick little
0:47.4	caveat on the word violent and nonviolent. I don't think this necessarily means that we're all
0:53.5	talking to berate each other and to intentionally
0:57.1	try to be violent, but there are very default ways that we unintentionally tend to hurt others.
1:07.9	So firstly, what is violent communication? On the back of the book, I'm just going to
1:13.2	read to you how the author defines it. If violent means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm,
1:21.4	then how we communicate, judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating,
1:29.1	speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when we're
1:35.0	angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive, or judging who's good or bad or what's right
1:41.2	or wrong, then all of that indeed would be called violent communication.
1:47.3	So nonviolent communication is the opposite of that. It's the integration of four things.
1:52.9	The author says these four things are consciousness, language, communication, and means of influence. You can read more about those in depth in the book,
2:04.4	but the purpose of nonviolent communication is really to connect empathetically with ourselves and
2:11.6	others, the world around us, and find a little bit more inner and hopefully outer peace too.
2:19.0	This is a book written back in the 90s, and this is a process that he developed in the 60s and 70s.
2:26.3	But in it, he talks about the four kind of tiers or levels of communication.
2:33.8	This part was presented pretty early on in the book and it
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