Okay, folks, welcome to the latest edition, the latest chapter, the latest

roaring adventures from life on planet Porky, with of course, myself, the porkmeister, Michael Parry,

and the rock chick writer extraordinaire.

Ms. Leslie Ann Jones, Leslie Ann, how are you doing today?

Oh, fighting fit, Michael. You?

Yeah, not bad. I tell you what, I've been suffering gales in the last sort of 12 hours.

I've had to batten down all the garden furniture.

All my daffodils have been blown to smithereens, although I did manage to get a crop of them inside yesterday,

which are now in a beautiful vase right in front of it in my office here. I do love daffodils. I've told you that before.

And I'm doing a bit of television this week, so that will be a backdrop for my home studio here at Porkmeister Towers.

How lovely. What about the gnomes? Did they take flight?

Well, no, they were protected before... I realised the wind was coming, so they always get put

away before anything happens. Anyway, look, there's only one story in town for you and I today

and, you know, for the past couple of days and

probably for the next few days if not weeks and that is of course the enormous drama

surrounding the departure from Good Morning Britain of our mutual Fleet Street pal and now really

TV superstar peers Morgan how did you react to the

sudden, you know, massive impact of the bust-up on Tuesday morning, followed by Pierce quitting?

Well, I laughed my head off. It was obviously staged. It was a quintessential masterstroke. Of course. Pierce, you know what Pierce is like.

You've known him as long as I have. He gets bored very easily. He's been at Good Morning,

Britain now, five, six years. He's done everything that he can do there. So he's just treading

water until the right thing comes along. The biggest story of the decade happens, which is Oprah Winfrey's interview with the Duke and Duchess of wherever they live.

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