180: 3 Secrets to Rebuilding Trust in Marriage

The Empowered Wife Podcast: Marriage Help with Laura Doyle

Laura Doyle

Trustedrelationshipexpert, Narcissism, Verbalabuse, Fixingmarriages, Relationships, Feelinglonely, Relationshipexpert, Alcoholabuse, Self-improvement, Angerissues, Intimacyskills, Midlifecrisis, Affairs, Fixingrelationship, Exhausted, Desired, Society & Culture, Special, Physicalabuse, Empoweredwife, Passionaterelationship, Playfulrelationship, Empoweredwives, Education, Unloved, Relationshipadvice

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 2 May 2023

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you’re trying to fathom how you could ever rebuild the trust in your marriage, it means you’ve had it broken in a big way. That’s so painful and scary because it seems permanent! If he let you down, you may feel like you’d be a sucker to trust him again. Whether he lied, cheated or spent money recklessly, it’s completely natural to feel like vigilance, not trust, would be the smarter route.

Or, if you feel responsible for breaking your husband’s trust, you might also be struggling with how to get that back, which is scary and can fill you with regret.

Wanting to rebuild trust is like saying you want to be the woman who expects the best from your husband and who gives him her best too. The good news is that you can be her again, and your husband can be the man who deserves your trust. Or vice versa.

On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about 3 secrets to restoring the trust in both directions.

Plus, my guest Grace took an online quiz and realized she was a victim of domestic violence. She followed what the books, counselors and social workers told her to do, which was to separate. But she didn’t want to end her marriage, so she did something radical and simple but surprisingly effective to fix her marriage. Her husband still doesn’t know what she did, but she’s going to tell us so you can do it too.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Empowered Wife podcast where it's all about fixing your relationship without your man's
0:13.9	conscious effort so that you feel desired, taken care of, and special even if your
0:20.1	relationship feels completely hopeless. I'm Laura Doyle and today I'm
0:24.4	sharing three secrets for rebuilding trust in marriage. My guest Grace took an online
0:31.2	quiz and that's when she realized she was the victim of domestic violence.
0:37.2	She followed what the books, counselors, and social workers told her to do, which was to separate, but she didn't want to end her marriage, so she did something radical and simple, but surprisingly effective to fix her marriage. Her husband still doesn't know what she did, but she's going to tell us so that you can do it too.
0:57.3	Well that's coming up, but first let's get to three secrets for rebuilding trust in marriage. If you are trying to fathom how you could
1:06.8	ever rebuild the trust in your marriage, it means you've had it broken in a big way. And that's so painful
1:12.3	and scary because it seems so permanent. If you're
1:16.6	feeling bad because you feel responsible for breaking your husband's trust, you might
1:22.1	also be struggling to know how you can get that back, which is scary and it can
1:27.2	fill you with regret. Or if he let you down in a big way, you may feel like you just would be a sucker if you trust him again.
1:36.0	Whether it was that he lied or cheated or spent money recklessly, it's completely natural to feel like vigilance, not trust, is the smart thing to do.
1:48.0	Either way, I've got a terrific exercise for you that will help you powerfully rebuild the trust in your marriage.
1:56.3	Wanting to rebuild the trust, that's like saying you want to be the woman who expects the best from her husband and who gives him her best too.
2:06.0	And the good news is you can be her again and your husband can be the man who deserves your trust or vice versa. We're going to talk about how to
2:14.7	rebuild trust in both directions. So let's start with if you're the one who feels your trust was
2:20.5	betrayed. Here's secret number one for rebuilding your trust. Here's what you can do.
2:25.9	And that is pretend that you do trust him. Pretend that you do trust him.
2:37.0	I had to stretch to trust my husband around managing our finances years ago, which was where I had the least amount of trust in him,
2:41.0	and it took all my might but I learned that the only way you can
2:48.0	ever trust someone is because you decide to trust them.
	...

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