4.6 • 9.9K Ratings
🗓️ 2 February 2021
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
“I was asleep. Everything I was going through was not real, and it’s just this very convincing feeling that you’re right about this”
Producer: Whit Missildine
Episode Summary: A woman develops a severe eating disorder that lands her in intensive psychiatric care, where an extreme treatment program traps her in an alternate reality from which she cannot escape.
Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening
Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com
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Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, eating disorder, psychosis, child abuse, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, explicit language
Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper
Music Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741
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Click on a timestamp to play from that location
0:00.0 | This is actually happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. |
0:04.2 | Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode |
0:07.6 | and for more information about support services. |
0:16.9 | I was asleep. Everyone around me was fake. |
0:19.8 | Everything I was going through was not real. |
0:21.9 | There is no way that this could be happening. |
0:24.0 | And it's just this very convincing feeling that you're right about this. |
0:39.5 | From Wondry, I'm Whit Missaldine. You are listening to this is actually happening. |
0:45.2 | Episode 176 |
0:55.6 | What if you were trapped in a never-ending dream? |
1:04.9 | Hey, prime members. You can listen to this is actually happening. |
1:08.7 | Add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. |
1:19.9 | As a child, I was always described as super, super happy and very outgoing. |
1:27.6 | I was always the one who was dressed in bright colors and the first person to say hi to people |
1:33.3 | and I made friends really, really easily. But from a very, very early age, I was internally |
1:40.1 | struggling with things I don't think I understood. So despite the fact that I was overtly happy |
1:47.2 | and outgoing and playful and fun, I was dealing with a lot of. |
1:52.0 | An internalization, I think, of the trauma I experienced at the hands of my mom in particular. |
1:58.4 | I was born in England. I'm a child of immigrants. So they came from India and then when I was about |
2:06.7 | six months old, we all moved to the United States. So I never lived in India, but my parents grew up there. |
2:13.1 | My parents are both doctors. They're both very intelligent, well-read. Then they had my older sister |
2:21.1 | who was very much the same and then they had me and I'm much more inclined to like the arts and |
... |
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