175 - Hot Priest Caught Stealing From Walmart

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

PodcastOne

Comedy

5.0 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hey our little April Fools! In this episode we have a cup of noodle betrayal that still hasn't been resolved, and ohhhh boy a lot more. A fisherman in Texas arrested for cheating in a bass fishing tournament. Meanwhile, the head priest of a historic Pittsburgh cathedral got caught stealing baseball cards from Walmart and allegedly may have been selling sacred church artifacts on eBay. That would totally make Jesus sad. We soft-pitch ourselves as a jingle writers, Jonathan explains why words that end in "sps" should be removed from the English language immediately, and dark mode. Naturally Zachariah loses his mind over people who can unexpectedly do the splits, and there's a full dispute about eating chips in bed after you've already brushed your teeth.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

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Works Cited:

➜ "Texas Fishing Tournament Winner Arrested over Cheating Scandal." New York Post, 10 Mar. 2026.

➜ "Episcopal Priest Accused of Baseball Card Theft Resigns as Pittsburgh Cathedral Dean." Religion News Service, 16 Mar. 2026.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Have you ever canoed down a babbling brook?
0:03.0	No, but I have cried at a Taco Bell.
0:06.0	Oh, same thing.
0:08.0	Listen up, campers.
0:09.0	It's time to buckle up, pitch a tent, and take a hike.
0:11.0	Because camp counselors is a variety show.
0:13.0	So prepare for a good old-fashioned kumbaya, weird news,
0:17.0	hot gossip, and scary stories around the campfire.
0:20.0	So spooky.
0:21.7	Is this podcast even about camping?
0:23.4	No, but it is camp.
0:25.8	This is camp counselors.
0:30.7	Hey, happy campers.
0:33.0	Welcome back to Camp Shady Birch.
0:35.7	It is week 175 here at Cam. And this will be our final episode of
0:43.7	the podcast. Can you believe it? A couple of things popped up and unfortunately camp is closing
0:50.7	has something to do with a biohazard of a sore.
0:55.0	Sandwich is suing us for...
0:59.0	Manslaughter.
1:00.0	Manslaughter and slander.
1:02.0	Yeah, and manslander.
1:03.0	And hearsay.
	...

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