1741: Dealing with the tragedy of infant death as Mormon parents - Martine & Stuart Smith Pt 2

Mormon Stories Podcast

Dr. John Dehlin

Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2023

⏱️ 180 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Martine & Stuart have their first child, Nathaniel, who was diagnosed with Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB), a rare, painful, and ultimately fatal genetic skin condition. Caring for a child with EB is an immense emotional toll on them due to the constant pain the baby suffers with basic daily tasks like feeding & changing diapers. This episode delves further into the contradictions and complexities of Mormon doctrine around reproduction which made it difficult for Martine and Stuart to come to terms with Nathaniel's condition. They felt guilt and self-blame upon his diagnosis, questioning whether it was punishment for wanting to wait to have children, or due to a "Saturday's Warrior" type pact agreed to in the pre-existence. The doctrine of pre-mortal decisions and the effects on disabilities was also discussed, along with the contradictory messages about disabled or sick children and those who die before accountability.

As Nathaniel's condition worsened, the couple sought healing through priesthood blessings, but were met with disappointment when they didn't work. John discusses expectations vs. the reality of priesthood blessings and the theological justifications used when they don't work. The couple eventually came to accept the idea of letting Nathaniel go, and he passed away. Martine & Stuart describe the emotional aftermath of Nathaniel's death, including the funeral and how Mormons deal with death.

Despite some trepidation, the couple decides to have another child, which was met with mixed reactions from their community. Martine became pregnant again and gave birth to a healthy son. They later moved to Louisiana, where they became involved in their LDS branch and had a third child, Sarah, who was also born with EB. The episode discusses the routine of care for Sarah and the support they received from their branch. The second death of an infant affected their faith, with Stuart becoming angry at God and turning down a leadership position in the church. Despite this, Martine still wanted more children, and the episode ends with the couple meeting with a General Authority to discuss the deaths of their children and birth control.

Episode Show Notes

Mormon Stories Thanks Our Generous Donors!

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today:

Our Platforms:

Contact us:

[email protected]

PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117

Social Media:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Warmestores podcast. I'm your host John Delin. It is February 6th
0:06.3	2023 and we are here in part two of our interview with Martin and Stewart Smith
0:14.2	Martin welcome back. Thank you John. You two Stewart. How you feeling?
0:18.0	Good John. Thank you. Good. Well, we just finished a really fascinating two and a quarter hours with Martin and Stewart talking about
0:27.4	Martin joining the church as a teenager in Belgium in the very early 70s and
0:35.2	her and her sister and her mom all converting two Mormonism as Belgians and then her sister serving a mission in Martin coming to the United States
0:43.8	meeting Stewart and
0:45.8	marrying Stewart and
0:47.8	Going to the temple and that sort of thing and that was part one and
0:52.1	We are going to be talking here in part two about something very sensitive which is about three children that
1:00.2	Stewart and Martin had two of which passed away as infants and we're going to be talking about and maybe even showing some images that for some who might be
1:10.0	sensitive to medical issues a little bit of a warning that it's it's kind of some medically sensitive and
1:16.1	somewhat disturbing stuff, but it's all going to tie into their Mormon story because back in the 70s
1:23.2	It was all about getting married quickly having as many babies as you could and not using birth control and
1:29.5	Then when you weave into that the teaching of pre-served blessings and prayer and faith and also of wards and how wards can rally
1:38.0	To be helpful or not helpful in in the situation of
1:42.4	Something traumatic happening. It's going to be a really important episode that we hope you really all enjoy and value
1:49.0	That's going to be part two the death of these two infants and how that interacted with their Mormon faith and then
1:56.0	Of course, we'll have a part three about martina Stewart's faith journey even including Stewart becoming a Mormon bishop while they were both progressive
2:06.0	slash doubting Mormons so Margie is here as my coals today. Hey Margie
2:11.7	Hey babe. Thanks for joining
2:14.0	Beautiful. All right, so I think we the where we left off you guys had got married in the temple went through your endowments got your garments and
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. John Dehlin, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. John Dehlin and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.