Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zoharshan. My name is Sabrina Zohart,

and I am your host. Hi, babes. Welcome back to another Friday. So we have a D.A part series.

Do, right? Hi. Someone's learning French. A two part series. And we're going to go into today,

shame and blame. So today we're going to talk about blame. Why do you keep blaming yourself?

Why you can't move on? Why do you keep always going back onto the guilt trips and all that? And then the second part is going to be shame. So we split it up so that we have two parts to this. So you guys can come back next week and hear the other part. But I'm so excited because we're evolving, we're growing and we're seeing other sides to the coin. It's not just about how people do me dirty.

It's also about how am I showing up and what am I internalizing? Because as always, it comes back to us. So guys, as always, thank you for everything. Don't forget, rate, review the show. Leave a comment wherever you're listening to. Please share it with your friends and rate and review it if you think it's worth a five star we just ask for kindness in our language because we are building a community of safety here so

without further ado baby so let's get right on into it shall we hi friends i'm excited about today

and next week's episode that i'm going to be recording because i really took my time to like

sit and understand okay okay, what's

coming up. And again, as always, I write in the questions on Instagram, on the Sabrina Zohar Show on Insta if you follow. And you guys, a ton of you would ask, like, I can't move on knowing I did something wrong, that, that, that, that, that, that. So we're going to go into all of that and some of the questions even that you guys have asked and sent in along the way.

But before we go into that, the reason I wanted to have this conversation was this is a huge

part for me. I grew up with a narcissistic caregiver and that looks like consistently feeling

like everything is my fault because when the person in the home, everything revolves around

them when you're not making them happy, when you're not satisfying them, you then internalize, oh my God, it's my fucking fault. Like, what did I do? And I allowed people, they would blame me, people would deflect onto me and say, what, you're doing this and you're doing this. And when I really didn't have that self-trust and when I really didn't understand what was happening, I internalized it

and I believed it. That was a big thing with my ex was every some for some reason. Well, I know why.

The narcissistic key piece is the important part. But every single time, it would land with

him blaming me for everything, somehow me apologizing to him, somehow me being sorry for being upset, and how dare I call him out on anything? And it became the cycle where eventually I realized, like, I needed to get off the merry ground. And it's funny, I was on with my client yesterday and she said, how do I get to this? How do I get to where you are? What made you get here? And I was like, I just told her, I was like one day I woke up and I was sick and tired of fucking being sick and tired. I was so exhausted from being Groundhog's day. Every day, feeling the same, doing the same. That's why even now, like, I have been working Dr. Tori, and we figured out I have that free cortisol stuff that's like fucking with my body and I've been taking a supplement now. Even just that one minute detail, one small fucking thing I've done for me has like almost freed me from the shackles. I don't have that same anxiety of when waking up and going to bed too. I keep telling her, like every day I'm feeling like three to five percent better, which is fucking huge. And for the first time, you guys, the first fucking time, I was laying in bed the

other night. I forgot to take my supplement. This is it. You take it at night in the morning for me,

just for what I'm dealing with. And I forgot to take it. And I literally woke up and I, in my head, the first thought that came was, oh my God, fuck, dude, you didn't take your supplement. like no wonder you can't sleep. So I was going into the blaming myself like you're an idiot.

Why would you? And instead of going down that road of like panic and starting to hyperventilate, I literally said, you know what, dude, you're a fucking human. You made a mistake. You'll put, you'll take it in the morning. And I could feel my body relax. I could feel the dopamine release in my brain when I showed myself compassion, when I showed myself grace, when I didn't try to attack my fucking self. And I've also been allowing myself. Like last night, we went to a Netflix event. I was on cloud nine. I was like, this is why we moved to L.A. Like, I fucking feel it. I know it's coming. Like, I felt it in my loins. And I was like, visit. And I woke up this morning going, maybe it's not. Oh my God, no, wait, what? Dude,

what are you talking about? I know it's coming like I felt it in my loins and I was like this. And then I woke up this morning

going, maybe it's not. Oh my God. No, wait. What? Dude, what are you talking about? You're just fucking kidding yourself. Like look at, look at your number. Right. And I started going into reconformation of like, no, no, no, you need to find what's not working so that you can prove to yourself that it's your fault that it's not working. And I default to blame. And instead now I'm learning to say,

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