is the way I heard it.

1215 AM.

An old man sits in a dark house, sipping tea and watching cartoons.

He ought to be in bed with his wife, a beautiful woman half his age, but he's restless and can't

sleep.

So he does what he always does when the insomnia drives him from his bed.

He makes a cup of tea and spends a little quality time with his favorite cat and mouse.

So far it's been a rough evening for Tom.

In this episode alone, the poor cat has been shot, stabbed, drowned, poisoned, electrocuted,

decapitated, eviscerated, driven into the ground with the telephone pole and smashed in

the face with a shovel.

Twice.

The old man delights in the cat's every misfortune brought about by his nemesis, the

ever-resourcible mouse called Jerry.

He admires the mouse immensely.

Smaller and weaker than his adversary, Jerry nevertheless prevails in almost every encounter,

humiliating the big cat time and time again.

The old man can help but giggle when Jerry crushes Tom's head in a window, severes his

fingers in a door, stuffs his tail into a hot waffle iron, drops a refrigerator onto

his head and then ties him to a rocket that explodes in space.

The old man likes the explosions, best of all.

In the next room his young wife is worried about her husband.

...