168 - Friday Fix: How to Stay Mentally Strong When Someone Is Gaslighting You

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2022

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When someone is gaslighting you, you’ll likely second guess yourself. Gaslighters are good at convincing you that you’ve lost touch with reality. Whether they lie about your behavior, insist your feelings are irrational, or say your thoughts are distorted, their goal is to cause you to feel as though you’re losing your mind. While gaslighting is most often discussed in terms of romantic relationships, it can occur in other relationships too. Your boss, friends, extended family, or even your doctor may gaslight you. It’s tough to know what’s real and what isn’t when someone gaslights you. So on today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share four strategies that can help you stay mentally strong when someone is gaslighting you. I explain how to recognize gaslighting and what to do about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:45.6	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:53.0	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength strategy that can help fix the thoughts, feelings, and actions that can hold you back in life.
0:55.0	Today I'm talking about how to stay mentally strong when someone is gaslighting you. If you aren't sure what gaslighting is,
1:00.0	I'll explain. It's when someone denies your reality and an effort to manipulate you. It could
1:05.7	involve outright lying about something that you did or didn't do, or it might involve telling
1:10.8	you that you're
1:11.4	crazy for thinking or feeling a certain way. The term gaslighting was first introduced in a play
1:17.4	back in 1938 called gaslight. In the play, a man convinces his wife that she's losing her mind
1:24.0	by dimming the lights in their home. Whenever she asks about it, he tells her that
1:28.6	it's in her imagination. Then he starts to move things around the house, and when she mentions
1:33.4	it, he tells her that she did it, but she forgot. As a result, she starts thinking that she's lost
1:38.9	touch with reality. We often talk about gaslighting when it occurs in romantic relationships, but that's not the only
1:45.8	place that it happens. It could happen in any relationship, like with your boss, your colleagues,
1:51.1	your friends, or your extended family, too. There's even some research on how doctors sometimes
1:56.2	gaslight their patients. Unfortunately, research shows physicians sometimes say things like,
2:01.6	you didn't tell me you had that symptom, even though the patient did. Or they insist that the
2:07.5	symptom must be all in your head because there's no physical explanation for your pain.
2:12.7	Gaslighting doesn't always happen with individuals, though. It could happen in group dynamics,
2:16.8	too. Listen to
2:18.3	anyone in a political debate and you'll likely hear some gaslighting going on. One person might
	...

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