167-Why He Became Romantic, Part 3 (Belah's Husband Tell's All)
Delight Your Marriage
Belah Rose
4.7 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 21 November 2017
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn't feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises were missing.
(Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)
- Being happy and pleasable makes my husband motivated to plan and give me big surprises
- My husband takes note of "I would like" but rejects specific commands.
- "Its not what you say, its the way you say it."
- Deciding where to focus, the negatives are easy to remember.
- When you say it, it stays in the records. Encouragement "erases" the bad
- Before I surrendered I was in charge of the finances, and now that he is, we're much happier (less stress for me and more confidence for him)
- I am closest to my husband so I can affect him the most: in your self-conception, who you are in the world
Ultimately, Belah's husbands feel her changes caused the marriage to change. Caused him to change.
Resources: Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course; Financial Peace University, Surrendered Wife
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Delight Your Marriage podcast, the show where you hear from amazing and inspiring |
| 0:08.1 | wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. |
| 0:13.9 | Here's your host, Bella Rose. |
| 0:18.9 | All right, welcome to the show. |
| 0:21.4 | Now, I don't know if you have listened in before, but this is the Delight Your Merit's |
| 0:26.3 | podcast, Delight Your Marriage podcast. |
| 0:31.1 | And it is really about moving your marriage into a space where you become more of the person that you are meant to be, |
| 0:41.2 | where you become more of you and he becomes more of him. |
| 0:45.9 | And you both have the freedom to realize your best selves to serve the most in your community, to love God the most, to love your kids the most, |
| 0:59.4 | to be in your job the best, to pursue your passions the most. |
| 1:07.7 | I really do believe that when your marriage is in the place that God ultimately wants it to be, |
| 1:15.3 | you can be that free. |
| 1:17.0 | You can feel that amount of, yeah, of fulfillment there. |
| 1:24.4 | And the thing that it does is it's not an end to itself. You don't want to just get to a |
| 1:29.5 | great marriage and that's the purpose of life. It's not. And I hope that's not what you take |
| 1:34.2 | away from this podcast, but it is a road. It is a vehicle. It is a health giving, a life-giving vehicle that provides you to go to these different places |
| 1:49.3 | in your life, gives you the support, the foundational love. And, you know, one thing my husband |
| 1:55.9 | and I actually were just talking about is, you know, some place in my heart that there's a vulnerability, an |
| 2:02.1 | uncomfortable discomfort that I needed to talk through and understand more. And because I love |
| 2:08.8 | him so much and I feel this freedom and safety in our marriage, I do have that space to talk |
| 2:14.4 | through. I do have that space to grow and understand myself and where I |
| 2:18.8 | can learn more and where I need to go to God for or get advice or get mentorship or process it |
... |
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