Around election time people get addicted to bad stories, downing them cocktail after cocktail. And that's because presidential elections, which are the beauty pageants of babylon, usually turn on this simple storytelling question: Who can tell the most compelling tale about their opponents? Harris-Walz is trying with video games and guns and abortion; Trump-Vance is trying with filthy comedians and French fries and free speech. Analysis gets really entertaining when you get to watch how fringe elements on both side stand where their opponents tell them to stand and say what their opponents tell them to say (this is where AOC and groypers overlap in their hatred of Israel, and where fascists and communists sort everyone into categories based on sunburn-ability). In literary terms, we Americans in 2024 are living in a black comedy, which is a satire in which the main characters cannot see that the rules they live by are crazy. But the audience can. And unfortunately, black comedies usually end in destruction for everyone but the audience. Speaking of audiences: who is your audience? What matters for you, right now, on a Tuesday afternoon, isn't the centuries-long stories God is telling of the rise and fall of nations -- it's how you treat your wife, kids, boss, pastor; and how your actions are telling a story to everyone you live with. So, vote for Trump, but God is the only Storyteller who should have control of your emotions. Stories are soul food, after all.