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Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

165. First Line Of Defense

Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

Chris D'Elia

Society & Culture, Comedy, Tv & Film

4.826.5K Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2020

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today Chris is all alone, no Juan, no Ivan. We're being safe, so you should be, too! On today's show we talk about the people who have been preparing for quarantine their whole lives, celebrity "Imagine" with Gal Gadot, Harvey Weinstein getting a coronavirus test, a story about a community college production of Grease, Madonna, and a film Chris made when he was 23. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

This episode is brought to you by Slack. With Slack, you can bring all your people and

0:05.9

tools together in one place. It's your digital HQ where you can increase productivity,

0:11.1

enable flexibility and automate workflows. Plus, Slack is full of game-changing features

0:16.7

like huddles for quick check-ins or Slack Connect, which helps you connect with partners

0:20.9

inside and outside of your company. Slack, where the future works. Get started at

0:26.9

Slack.com slash DHQ. At TikTok, we're known for entertainment, but behind the scenes,

0:33.5

we're committed to safety within our community. That's why we set all TikTok accounts

0:38.2

age between 13 and 15 as private, with no access to direct messaging. Our family

0:43.3

parent tool lets you link your accounts to your teams, so you can adjust what content

0:47.7

they see and manage how long your family spends on TikTok with our screen time management

0:52.5

tool, safety, your priorities, our commitment. Search TikTok Guardians Guide to learn more.

2:22.5

And I thought it was going to be way more bored than I was, and honestly, I'm not that board.

2:29.5

Just been doing a lot of squats, walking outside for about three minutes and then get

2:35.0

going like this. And then walk back in. You know what I mean? It's about it. It's about

2:42.9

it. It's about fucking it, dude. Thought about growing my beard out and doing a quarantine

2:49.0

beard. And then I realized I can't do that because I have one of those fucking masks. If

2:52.6

I need to go out in public and the masks work less, if you have a fucking beard because

2:58.7

it goes into the particles, the fucking COVID-19 particles go into, they go around the beard.

3:06.1

They fucking go around the beard and under the mask and slip in. They're like a crook,

3:09.8

dude. I'm tired of this crook ass coronavirus as man. But I wear it. So I got to cut it.

3:14.6

I got to shave it. I got to, your boy's got to be a fucking baby face. I'm sorry, dude.

3:20.2

Your boy may have to be a baby face because of COVID-19. That's it. It affects us all.

...

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