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The Best of You

162: When Reconnection Feels Impossible—Family Estrangement Expert Dr. Joshua Coleman on Grief, Boundaries, and Hope for Healing.

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9957 Ratings

🗓️ 12 June 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when repair in your family isn’t possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week’s conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he’s learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who’s been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what’s really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won’t take responsibility—or if your child won’t re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you’ve ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who’s walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps. 🖥 Learn more about Dr. Coleman’s work here. 📚 Grab a copy of his book Rules of Estrangement here. If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 161⁠ — Finding Yourself without Losing Your Family: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds: The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Start seeing a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Connect further with Dr. Alison Cook: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ www.dralisoncook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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1:02.7

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1:09.7

and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash best of you to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash best of you.

1:19.2

Hey everyone. I'm Dr. Allison, and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.

1:26.0

This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns,

1:30.5

mending the past, and discovering our true selves in God. I can't wait to get started as we

1:35.6

learn together how to become the best version of who we are with God's help. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You. I'm so glad you're

1:48.7

here with me this week. This is a conversation I've been wanting to bring to the podcast for a long

1:55.0

time because I see this tension showing up again and again in the lives of people all around me, in friends,

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