162 SelfWork: Is Healthy Narcissism Real?
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 17 January 2020
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today we’re talking about the difference between narcissism and healthy narcissism. There are big differences and since the word "narcissistic" is being thrown around so much these days, I thought I’d do my part to keep things clear. I’m quoting three experts -- Dr. Dale Archer, Bob Taibbi, and Dr. Craig Malkin – all who have fascinating takes on the subject. I'd definitely recommend giving the links below a click to read more. You can also listen to three SelfWork episodes on narcissism and how I see it played out: Episode 019 on how to cope with it in a relationship, Episode 122 on its relationship with love addiction, and Episode 127, dealing with two of the main manipulative techniques used -- gaslighting and stonewalling.
The listener email is from a mom who’s overshared with her oldest daughter about her father’s financial issues and now regrets her actions. This kind of what's termed "enmeshment" in families happens often, when one parent or even both pull a child into a pseudo-adult role in relationship with them, without realizing the damage.
Important Links:
Diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Dr. Dale Archer's full article on Jody Arias and his book Better Than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional
Bob Taibbi's article on healthy narcissism in Psychology Today and his book– Brief Therapy with Couples in Crisis
Dr. Craig Malkin's article in Psychology Today on the more subtle signs of narcissism and his book Rethinking Narcissism
A helpful link on asexuality:
You can hear more about narcissism and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self work. |
| 0:29.0 | Hello and welcome to the 160 second episode of the Self Work Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. |
| 0:36.7 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist out of Fayetteville, Arkansas. |
| 0:41.4 | Self-work is all about trying to reach people who are interested in psychological |
| 0:45.3 | and emotional issues or perhaps have been initially diagnosed with depression or anxiety and |
| 0:51.2 | you're looking for answers or even to those of you who might not |
| 0:54.6 | darken the door of a therapist or don't think you would, but are just curious enough |
| 0:58.6 | to want to know a little bit more about what a therapist might have to say. |
| 1:02.4 | There's so much ignorance about what a therapist might have to say. There's so much ignorance about what |
| 1:04.6 | therapy really is, so maybe self-work will give you a little slice of that reality. |
| 1:10.3 | Today we're going to be talking about the difference between narcissism and healthy narcissism. |
| 1:15.0 | Now there are big differences but the word narcissistic is being thrown around so much these days. |
| 1:21.0 | I thought I'd do my part to keep things clear. I'm going to quote three |
| 1:24.4 | different experts on the subject so there's lots of info today so hang on. As I said we'll |
| 1:30.0 | go over the traits of narcissism which you can listen to episode 1.22 also, which is on |
| 1:36.1 | narcissism. We'll contrast that with more healthy narcissism and I found a really interesting |
| 1:41.6 | article on the subtle signs of narcissism that you can detect that are really smaller things that might alert you that the person you're attracted to could have some narcissistic issues, those that might not be too |
| 1:54.6 | pleasant to deal with. Our listener email, which is a regular feature of self-work, is |
| 1:59.5 | from a mom who's over-shared with her oldest daughter about her father's financial issues |
... |
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