It began long ago, two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and little league practice.

Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong.

Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with

Schnebly and Toff. I had a killer way to start this podcast this morning on the hike and

by God if it didn't just drip out my ears sometime in the past four hours. Really? Yeah. Your

ears are leaking again. I got leaky ear syndrome,

Jethro. You've got to have that looked at, buddy. What am a man to do when your ears am all

leaky? Early prevention is key. That's right. It's misuse of Q-tips at an early age. Oh my

God. I think that's that's the issue. All right.

Here we go.

In a quaint neighborhood in the Gillian province of China, bin Tuzi.

He was a man known for many things.

His impeccable taste in spicy dumplings.

An inexplicable loyalty to a tragically underperforming sports team, and a rather ambitious

belief in the comic potential of human flagellants.

On that fateful evening that would soon scorch its way into the annals of internet fame and neighborhood infamy,

Ben had gathered his closest friends for what was supposed to be a laid-back evening of cards

and chatter. Among those friends was a certain gentleman who had on numerous occasions

proven himself a facilitator to Bin's more questionable antics.

The friend, whom we'll call Wang, only because it makes me laugh,

possessed a curious blend of unwavering loyalty and disastrously poor judgment.

Wang's presence at any gathering was like bringing a matchstick dangerously close to the fireworks.

...