158 The Critical Relationship Between Attachment and Affect Regulation

The Place We Find Ourselves

Adam Young

Hope, Christian, Christianity, Healing, Story, Trauma, Psychotherapy, Mental Health, Restoration, Heart, Sexualabuse, Health & Fitness, Adamyoung, Therapy, Attachment, Interpersonalneurobiology, Religion & Spirituality, Limbicsystem, Neuroscience

4.8 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 July 2024

⏱️ 30 minutes

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Summary

If you have difficulty regulating your emotion, there is a reason for that! No one comes out of the womb with the ability to regulate their affect. The way you develop the neurobiological structures to regulate your own emotions is by having your affect interactively regulated by another. This is the main gift that a primary caregiver gives to a child. Another name for this gift is “secure attachment.” The essence of secure attachment in adulthood is that you have the ability to both self-regulate and reach for help (that is, receive regulation from another). If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially by clicking here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to the place we find ourselves podcast.
0:03.7	I'm Adam Young and today I want to talk about attachment and more specifically
0:09.1	I want to talk about how your attachment experiences as a child
0:15.0	affect your ability to regulate your emotions today
0:18.5	as an adult because they are very related.
0:21.7	But first, let's start with some introductory remarks about
0:25.1	attachment in general. When it comes to engaging your story there's a sense in
0:30.5	which the most significant plot line of that story is your relationship with your parents.
0:37.8	It is certainly the most influential in terms of setting the trajectory for your life.
0:44.0	Now, why is this the case?
0:46.0	Well, it's about neuroscience.
0:48.0	My reading of the neuroscience literature
0:50.0	has led me to formulate what I call the first and second law of
0:54.3	neurobiological development. Law number one, relationships, influence the
1:02.1	brain, the development of the brain, the shaping of the brain more than anything else.
1:07.0	Relationships do that. More than drugs, more than nutrition, more than exercise, more than meditation, more than exercise more than meditation more than anything
1:14.2	relationships this is law number one influence the development of your
1:19.9	brain how it has been shaped and neurobiological law number two, your earliest life experiences
1:30.3	have a much more significant shaping influence on the development of your brain
1:36.5	than later life experiences. So when you put those two laws together, you get the following implication.
1:45.6	Your earliest relationship with your primary caregivers
1:52.3	has had the most shaping power on your brain.
	...

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