156 - Uh-Oh! Zachariah Can't Act!

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy

5 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 15 October 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this highly emotional episode, Zachariah opens up about the hustle of landing that first big breakout role, while Jonathan pitches his true dream job to the sharks: designing elaborate mini golf courses!! Can you imagine? How freakingg fun. We also dive into the glory of Suite Life legend Kim Rhodes and her HashtagBoyMom MOMMY energy, an off-brand Aura Ring that trapped a man (and his finger) at the airport, and the unbearable pain of plucking nose hairs. Plus so much more, you're so welcome ;)

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

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Works Cited:

➜ Marcella Baietto. “Philadelphia Cheesemonger Becomes First American to Win First Place in World Cheese Competition.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 28 Sept. 2025.

➜ Rob Thubron. “Samsung Galaxy Ring Swells and Crushes User’s Finger, Causing Missed Flight and Hospital Visit .” TechSpot, 30 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Have you ever canoed down a babbling brook?
0:03.0	No, but I have cried at a Taco Bell.
0:06.0	Oh, same thing.
0:08.0	Listen up, campers.
0:09.0	It's time to buckle up, pitch a tent, and take a hike.
0:11.0	Because camp counselors is a variety show.
0:13.0	So prepare for a good old-fashioned kumbaya, weird news,
0:17.0	hot gossip, and scary stories around the campfire.
0:20.0	So spooky.
0:21.7	Is this podcast even about camping?
0:23.4	No, but it is camp.
0:25.7	This is camp counselors.
0:30.5	Hey, happy campers.
0:32.8	Welcome back to Cam Shady Birch.
0:35.5	It is week 156 here at Cam.
0:40.7	And I would say it's a beautiful day, but it's not because I have a pimple forming on my
0:47.9	lip that will actually not go away no matter what I do.
0:51.8	I've repopped this shit.
0:53.0	I'm going to say it.
0:53.7	I don't even care if you're grossed out by this. I have popped this three different times today and it keeps coming back bigger and better. And I don't believe in the whole kind of theory of don't touch it. It'll go away. You know what's crazy? I'm 30 years old. I'm 30 years old. I'm getting gray hairs at this point. I don't need to be getting acne as well.
1:14.3	And actually, it really hurts. So if you're on YouTube and there's some redness going on in the corner of my mouth, I don't want to hear it, okay? I was just going to ask, is that on your ameth? No, it, oh my God, stop. It feels like a cold sore, but it's not.
1:28.6	I just feel like I just like I look like I have a cold sore, which isn't anything wrong with that, but I don't get those. So it's like, I'm very sweaty, and you guys know that about me. So it's like, I don't get cold stores, but I get sweaty. So it's like, we all have our cross to bear, but don't give me an additional cross right now. Like, I'm simply not interested.
	...

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