156: Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2024

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

An incredibly thoughtful question from a 14-year-old in the United Kingdom helps us look at the complexities of teen friendships. The letter writer asks about the challenge of wanting to distance from a friend without being unkind. Should teenagers be encouraged to have candid conversations with friends about their feelings, or is there a more nuanced approach that minimizes hurt feelings? How do we teach kids to be compassionate while establishing personal boundaries? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the balance between directness and sensitivity, how to accomplish a “polite distance,” and how adults sometimes contribute, unwittingly, to painful social dynamics. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.
0:10.7	It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids. Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three
0:17.2	decades of experience, and the author of three New York Times best-selling parenting
0:21.8	books takes your questions. Both of us are moms ourselves, and we're eager to hear from you.
0:27.1	So send us your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.LisaDemore.com. And you can join our community by
0:32.8	following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The handle is Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.5	And also subscribe to our brand new YouTube channel, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:43.2	Episode 156, is there a gentle way to drop a friend?
0:51.9	So I love that I've now gotten to a point where I can learn to say no more.
0:58.7	And part of that is people I don't want to hang out with, I'm just not doing it.
1:03.7	Does that seem mean?
1:04.7	Does that seem like a really mean thing?
1:06.4	No, I think it's actually one of the beauties of middle age.
1:11.1	That's it. You get to where you're like, I don't beauties of middle age. That's it.
1:11.7	You get to where you're like, I don't want to do this anymore.
1:14.0	That's it.
1:15.0	Nobody talks about that.
1:16.3	I mean, about that middle age, sort of you realize who your friends are and who you want to hang out and what you want to do and don't want to do.
1:21.9	And your time is precious.
1:23.2	Yes.
1:23.5	And, yeah. And yeah, no, I think, I also felt, Rina, I don't know if you had this experience, having kids,
1:29.1	you know, which I did when I was in my 30s, like, that made it easier for me to start protecting
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.