156 - Friday Fix: How to Respond to Unhelpful Thoughts

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2022

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Your brain tries to be helpful. It tells you about the dangers you should be looking out for so that you don’t get hurt. It also likes to remind you of past mistakes in an attempt to prevent you from repeating them. Of course, though, your brain doesn’t always get it right. It may repeatedly warn you that you shouldn’t apply for a job because you can’t handle the rejection. Or it may dredge up past memories that cause you to stay stuck in a dark place. There may be times when your brain overestimates you in an unhelpful manner as well. It might convince you that you don’t need to prepare for an interview because you are going to nail it. Or, it may give you a pep talk to talk you into taking a risk that ultimately ends up being a mistake. Fortunately, you don’t have to believe everything you think. And while you can’t control all the automatic thoughts that pop up into your mind, you can choose how you respond to those thoughts. On today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I talk about how to respond to those unhelpful stories your brain tells you. I’ll give you some effective strategies for responding to irrational thoughts and explain why our brains often get things wrong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:45.6	Okay. You're listening to The Friday Fix.
0:48.3	Today I'm talking about how to deal with unhelpful thoughts.
0:52.1	So often people say that they need help dealing with their negative thoughts.
0:55.3	But not all negative thoughts are bad or inaccurate. Sometimes things really are that bad. Maybe your boss just delivered some bad news about
1:01.8	the future of your company. Your thoughts about being unemployed might be kind of accurate.
1:07.8	That's why I'm talking about unhelpful thoughts, not just negative thoughts. Negative thoughts
1:12.5	that are true aren't necessarily harmful. It's the irrational untrue thoughts that aren't helpful.
1:19.4	There might be times when you exaggerate how bad things are, like when you're thinking everyone is
1:24.4	upset with you about something. In reality, though, maybe just one person's mad. Or you might just be imagining that everyone is upset with you about something. In reality, though, maybe just one person's mad.
1:29.5	Or you might just be imagining that everyone is upset because of a choice you made, like you
1:33.9	move to a new city. In those instances, your negative thoughts are likely unfounded. Similarly,
1:40.4	you might be predicting catastrophic things for the future. When your boss sends an email
1:44.9	that says, let's find a time to meet today, you might start thinking that your boss is upset,
1:50.5	you're going to get fired, and without a job, you're going to end up homeless. Going down that
1:55.2	trail of negative thinking isn't helpful because you're just making up the ending to a story
1:59.7	that isn't based on reality. You don't even know why your boss wants to meet, and because you're just making up the ending to a story that isn't based on reality.
2:01.9	You don't even know why your boss wants to meet, and yet your imagination's running wild.
2:06.7	Clearly, your thoughts influence your feelings and your behavior, if you let them.
2:11.7	But they don't have to take over. You have choices in how you respond to your thoughts.
2:16.4	In the therapy office, we call those initial
	...

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