#148: Ratted Out By Salad

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

History, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 602 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why are we surprised that episode #148 of TSE wasn’t stolen before it aired? Because it's chock full of burglars, is why! JG regales us with the story of three men hell-bent on burglarizing a hamburger shop. The prospect of the cash inside drew them. What they couldn't have known was how a two-pound tub of Macaroni Salad may have been too tasty to leave behind – but would also be their undoing. Lindsay’s burglar story comes to us from the Garden State of New Jersey, where a young man made an interesting decision to burglarize a home one night because the lights were off, and he assumed no one was home. He was – how to put this? – wrong. Hilarity ensued when he decided to make his getaway using the aptly-named Lyft (‘cause what other name would a burglar like more?). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Harry.
0:00.7	Hello mate.
0:01.5	Got any tips for the football?
0:02.8	Your best bet is to head over to Bet Victor.
0:04.9	They're giving new customers a terrific welcome offer. If you bet a minimum of £10, they'll give you £30 in three bets. Oh, that's a steel of a deal. It's a good darn deal that'll make your squirrel for real. Neil? My name's not Neil. I know, bet it rhymed. Listen to Harry and make your best bet on the football at Betvictor.
0:03.8	18 plus opt in best bet on the football at BetVictor.
0:23.3	18 plus opt in and bet on any football marketing at odds of evens or greater no, cash out seven-day expiry terms and conditions apply.
0:29.0	Gamblerware.org.
0:29.8	There are some things you should always check, like the hygiene rating on your local takeaway, the setting on your razor, and whether the party actually
0:39.3	is fancy dress. The other thing you should check is your Experian credit report, especially if you're
0:45.7	looking to borrow money. It lets you understand what lenders see so you can increase your chances
0:50.9	of getting the best deals. It's dead easy to check it and completely free.
0:56.7	See it in seconds. Download the Experian app today.
1:00.9	It began long ago. Two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and
1:07.3	Little League practice. Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things
1:15.8	would go horribly wrong.
1:18.4	Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up.
1:22.0	You're in the shallow end with Schnebly and Toff.
1:24.8	It's episode number 148.
1:29.6	If my math is correct, Chethro.
1:35.8	Well, I never question you when it comes to math because you were the one I used to copy off of during algebra class.
1:37.6	Which is ironic because I was the worst math student in that class, as I recall.
	...

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