This is episode 147 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to cope with a loved ones terminal illness.

This is something that I saw on a UK TV programme last week, in which a UK celebrity is currently dealing with her mum being diagnosed with a terminal illness and how she has struggled coming to terms with it.

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When a loved one develops a serious illness it is normal for all family members to experience a feeling of deep sadness, grief or loss and if the illness is terminal it can be something we really struggle to come to terms with and find it hard to plan for the outcome.

Anticipatory Grief

When we find out a loved one has a terminal illness sometimes its normal to experience anticipatory grief meaning you begin to experience grief and feelings of loss before it actually happens. Just as with grief after death family and friends may experience an array of different emotions as you begin to adjust to this new idea of what is to come. Typical emotions you may experience could be:

• Sorrow
• Anger
• Anxiety
• Acceptance
• Depression
• Denial

Depending on the amount of time your loved one has left and the relationship you share with that person you may experience a feeling of being close and have a determination to make their last days, weeks or months count. On the other hand you may feel anxious about whats to come or focus on last resort treatments or what could you have done differently that you push away any thoughts of the inevitable.

Although some people may not experience anticipatory grief it is normal for people to experience some of these emotions and feelings.

What Can You Do? 

• Make time to say good bye -  As painful as this statement may sound it can be really beneficial in helping you to feel a sense of acceptance of what is about to come.
• Talk to your loved one - Talking it out with your loved one could help both of you, you may find that your loved one isn't that scared and have actually come to terms with it which may in turn help you to come to terms.
• Treasure the time left - make the remaining time your loved one has left a rememberable one that you can always look back on in a positive light rather than "I wish I'd have acted differently"

Seek Help

The loss of anyone can be difficult and sometimes the grief can consume us making us feel there is no way out of these sad feelings we are experiencing. If you are currently going through this or have lost a loved one and are struggling then please do seek help, whether that be counselling, therapy sessions or helpful groups in your local area. Talking to somebody can be really beneficial in these cases and just simply feeling that you have somebody to turn to and your not alone can sometimes be enough to get you through this.