#146: Deadly Produce

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

Society & Culture, Comedy, History

4.9 • 612 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s not quite as good as our 150th episode will be, but episode #146 is close! Jethro has a story about a man who hits on the idea of a perfect robbery. Using a real gun is not only illegal, but what if that thing went off and someone got hurt? This gentleman in Glasgow came up with a substitute that he thought was genius! (It involves a rather phallic piece of produce. Oh, and a man’s dress sock.) The cast of Monty Python would have been proud! Then, did you know that fewer than one percent of prisoners contemplate an escape? Well, Lindsay tells us about a most unusual prison break from the great state of Michigan. It left authorities there baffled as they responded to word of this usual prison story late on a Sunday night. It is positively dripping with irony! (And police cars.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	It began long ago, two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and
0:07.2	Little League practice. Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for
0:13.7	stories where things would go horribly wrong. Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with
0:23.5	Schnebley and Toff. It's episode number 146 of the shallow end with Schneebelian Tooth.
0:29.2	Just back from a hike where I thought of you because we have this particular point in the
0:37.0	hike where for whatever reason I like walking this giant circle around three baseball diamonds, which is almost always empty during the week, which it was this morning, while Nancy goes up farther to the exact two mile mark to turn around. And we have decided that if I get this three or four minutes of solitude.
0:56.7	It's just better for the marriage, isn't it?
0:59.2	It's just better for the marriage, and then we can talk on the remaining 1.95 miles back to the house.
1:06.0	But I was struck by the fact that when I reunited with Nancy at this little corner at the exit of the ball fields, people, I think, tend to think of her, those who know her who deal with her, as a very proper, polite, well-spoken, never a bad word, no foul language kind of person.
1:26.6	So it made it all the more joyous when I realized that she was listening to a podcast on her iPhone
1:33.9	and she paused it and I said, what was that?
1:36.9	She said, oh, God, it's this long three hour plus podcast.
1:42.9	And these hosts are just such assholes and I immediately said oh is it
1:51.3	the shallow end and she said no and describe what it was and but I I said you know I've got no
1:59.6	choice but to open the shallow end this week with that story about these hosts are such assholes.
2:04.6	Well, that's the thing, too. A three-hour podcast, isn't that a tad self-indulgent? That's just the way it makes me feel. I'm not judging. It just makes me feel like, you really think you have three hours worth of content that people are going to be
2:17.7	interested in?
2:19.1	I am going to judge.
2:20.6	And that's just, you know, that adage?
2:22.6	If I had more time, I would have written you a shorter letter.
2:27.0	I feel like that's the difference.
2:29.3	And this, I know, goes back to old school radio in the way that you and I were trained, where
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