This is episode 145 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering Toxic Relationships and having the confidence to walk away. 

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Now if you're reading this or listening to the podcast then there's a chance you know somebody who is or are in a toxic relationship yourself, or perhaps you're not sure if your relationship is toxic? hopefully after today you will have a better understanding of your own relationship or have the confidence to finally do something.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is a relationship in which behaviours carried out by the "toxic" partner are emotionally and sometimes physically damaging to their partner. Having a toxic relationship damages self esteem and can be physically and emotionally draining. 

A toxic relationship is the total opposite to what we would class a healthy relationship in which you feel respect, caring, have an interest in your partners welfare and happiness a feeling of safety and security. In a toxic relationship it is generally characterised by feelings of insecurity, dominance, control by our partners and we risk our own mental and physical safety by staying in such toxic relationships. 

Toxic Behaviours 

There are many ways in which a relationship or person can be classed as toxic however the typical aspects of this behaviours are:

• Inappropriate controlling
• Manipulative
• Physically or mentally abusive
• Belittling 
• Bad temper
• Over reacting to situations
• Posessive

And these behaviours are pretty much on a daily basis. Typically a toxic partner to the outside world behaves in a exemplary and normal manner, its at home that these behaviours tend to show. 

A toxic person behaves in the way they do essentially for one main reason which is to be in complete control and to have all power over the relationship. Power sharing does not occur in a toxic relationship. Now do bear in mind that these behaviours may not be apparent in the early stages of the relationship which is why most people in toxic relationships don't even realise they're in one until it becomes dangerous for them.  

What To Do?

If you are in a toxic relationship the first thing to understand is that you cannot change your partner, and unless they see that there is a problem with the way they are behaving you will be fighting a losing battle staying with them to help or change them. However with that being said, if you are not willing yo give up or leave the way you can help your partner is to change yourself and how to respond to situations with your partner which could in turn make them decide to change their behaviours. 

Now if you are at the point of no return and feel you need/must leave but are too scared or don't feel strong enough mentally then there are a few things you can do to help yourself along the way:

• Surround yourself with people who care and love you for support
• Remember why you want to leave
• Be wary not to fall for sob stories or promises of changing
• Do things for YOU, hobbies, things that make you feel good
• Cut as many ties as you can from that person. 

I have helped many people in toxic relationships who have finally decided enough is enough and with a little support from people around them and keeping occupied and strong mentally they have managed to break free from their toxic relationships. 

If you are currently in a toxic relationship and need help please talk to people around you and look for that help, relationships don't need to be hard work or make you feel insecure, small, or unsure. With the right support you can do something about it.