I'm Maggie Smith, and this is The Slowdown.

During the hardest times in my life, I found comfort and hope in a lot of different places.

I found it in art, in books, in poems, in music, and in films.

I found it in philosophy and spirituality,

particularly in the Buddhist teachings of Pemashodran and Tikna Han.

I found it in long walks, in meditation, and an exercise.

And yes, in traditional therapy.

But what comforted me the most and gave me the most hope was community,

the family and friends and neighbors who rallied around me,

the kind people who delivered meals or who invited me out for coffee or drinks

or dancing or live music or even roller skating. The people who showed up, listened, and loved

me unconditionally.

Research shows this to be true.

Nothing is more integral to your happiness than the quality of your relationships.

A famous Harvard study proved that embracing community helps us live longer and be happier.

We need people we can look out for and who are looking out for us.

When people show up for us, it's life-changing, But eventually, the meals stop arriving, and maybe the calls and texts and notes slow down, and life gets a little quieter. There is no expiration date on grief.

When you lose someone you love or go through something particularly devastating, you live with it for the rest of your life. Even if it doesn't occupy your every thought, even if it fades a little more into the background of your days, instead of being in the foreground, it's there.

Today's poem captures that time in the speaker's life, a time of grief, when life goes a little quiet after a flurry of support and care. It makes me think

about ways to continue supporting the people in my life who I know are still hurting because of the

magnitude of what they've lost. It makes me think that I could be a more responsive,

more steadfast friend, and it makes me want to be that person.

...