I'm Maggie Smith, and this is The Slowdown.

If you're anything like me, you spend more time online than is probably good for you.

And for reasons I don't fully understand, my algorithm serves me a lot of relationship content.

If I've seen one reel by a therapist or life coach,

talking about attachment styles,

or best communication practices,

or ways to know your relationship is healthy or toxic,

I've seen a thousand.

A lot of it I quickly scroll past, and it simply becomes part of the static of my day. Some of it, however, I stop and read or watch. Some of it sticks with me.

Come to think of it, that time spent reading and watching is clocked by my device, and that's what's affecting my algorithm. For example, I remember

reading in some post that love is admiration plus consideration. Now,

there are plenty of definitions of love, but that one stuck with me. Maybe what struck me

was its simplicity. Like, what recipe has only two ingredients? Even brownies from a

boxed mix have more ingredients than that. So no, I don't think something as complex as love can be

reduced to two ingredients. And I don't think I'm going

to live happily ever after based on relationship advice gleaned from Instagram. But I will say this.

I think about that consideration piece a lot.

To be considerate is to be unselfish.

It's making others' feelings and their needs and wants a top priority.

Not only our feelings needs and wants.

Today's poem touched me because it acknowledges the patience and tenderness we need to have as spouses and as parents.

Relationships are a lot of work, and when you have children, it adds another layer of love and another layer of work, another level of consideration.

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