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A show. Christmas time is upon us, and you're probably dreading having your house full of

screaming bastards on the twenty film and you can bet that you're squeezing that wallet dry on presents alone.

Are you going to spend Christmas hungry just because those ravenous little urchins have you down to the felt.

Not with this holiday favorite.

Get ready for Richard Queezy's Uultide glam chop. Start by aggravating a dozen gently used horse eggs in a Chinese wishing lantern.

Yes, that is a real thing. I looked it up.

If any of the eggs seem ready to hatch, throw them at the wall and enjoy the mess.

With that nasty business out of the way, sing to the eggs in Gaelic

until they're properly confused. Then simply hide them in the closet for no less than a week.

At this point, their innards should be properly conjield and or homogenized.

Just don't let them know what's coming next. The element of surprise is key here.

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