is the way I heard.

As Claire Danes shared her thoughts on the importance of counterintelligence in a post-911

world, Karen squirmed uncomfortably on the couch beside her and pretended to listen.

Did Claire Danes know anything about espionage or counterintelligence?

Probably not.

But she did play a CIA analyst on a TV show called Homeland, a role that apparently qualified

her to weigh in on matters of national security.

But Karen's discomfort on that particular morning had nothing to do with the topic of

conversation or the opinions expressed by Claire Danes.

Her discomfort was physical and brought about by a level of gastro and intestinal restraint

to which she was entirely unacostombed.

In other words, Karen was trying not to break wind on live television.

Like Benjamin Franklin, who wrote extensively on this very topic in his seminal essay,

Fart Proudly, Karen was strongly opposed to denying the gas in her bowels as speedy

exodus if that's what the gas desired.

She had always believed that holding back that which was destined to vacate the premises

was fundamentally unhealthy, a factor of friends and co-workers knew all too well.

On the other hand, Karen respected Claire Danes and had no desire to interrupt her, especially

while she was holding forth on the unpleasant realities of Islamic jihad.

More to the point, the discomfort in her colon was ambiguous and shifting, making it difficult

to anticipate the type of flatulence she was trying to suppress or the sound it was liable

to make.

...