I remember watching the highlights of a Manchester Derbe.

It's only kicking off in the armstand.

And from the eight or ten, I just looked at it and I thought,

I what I've been there.

Just the excitement and the madness.

Straight away, this is where I fit in.

I just felt like I belonged.

I've just become sort of like I went on a violent screen.

Bang I had a football, but just I was getting money from any way, sort of like, necessary then, do you know what I mean?

Calling all favours and doing favours that probably really shouldn't have been doing.

So you just at it?

Sometimes it just felt like I could just press the self-destruct button.

Nothing mattered.

It was just like, I'd just have started that I would spiral and that was like over and over and over again.

Did you ever think about taking my life?

I didn't want to die.

I just wanted that pain to stop right there, yeah.

I've got to know where I am now.

I always look back and think that it's just because you carried on fighting,

carried on fighting for another day, yeah?

If there's anyone out there listening to this

was going through the same thing, you've got any one bit of advice from.

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